Gossip Girl
Roman Holiday

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Vanity Blair

Also Blair, who's sitting in her constantly evolving bedroom listening to Chuck's voicemail message ("Leave a message, and I might listen") and begging him not to tell Nate about their constant dirty sex. "Chuck, you are not answering my calls, to torture me I am sure, but please." She once again hangs up and of course Serena immediately enters, because that's B's whole life: boys, Serena, Dad. The nominal reason for demanding that S visit her in the middle of the Xmas Showdown with Lonelyboy is to get Serena's login for her modeling site of long ago. Because the internet is mysteriously connected to itself and this will somehow serve B's madcap designs on her father's relationship. Serena protests that she did like one print ad for Gap when she was twelve, but devotedly enters her password for Blair. The energy in this scene is wonderful, because Serena knows Blair is planning something fucked up, because Blair is only ever planning something fucked up, but Serena will only ask about one-fourth of the questions she's begging, because usually it's best not to get too involved. And honestly, back in the day of Bad Girl Serena, that was wise because you know it would service Bad Girl Serena, and now it's mostly to keep her hands clean. Mostly I love how fiercely they love each other, where Serena can just sweetly rest her head on Blair's shoulder and wait for her to finish her demonic shit without even asking.

"BTW," Blair says aloud and in real life, "you're late." Serena reminds her that she's lucky Serena came at all, as though she wouldn't have even on Xmas Eve with Dan pretentiously hovering, which is what's happening. "Any idea what you can buy for under $50 these days?" No. That is a dumb amount. A McSweeney's. Assassination Vacation. All the hipster Brooklyn things I can think of, Dan already has, plus he's not into "things." Blair's like, "A single entrée at a mid-priced restaurant? Three-quarters of a DVD box set?" She offers, offhandedly, a pair of those Wolford stockings she's always wearing, but Serena knows even Dan's not gay enough for that. Although if Vanessa bought him Wolford stockings he'd be like, "I was wondering if I could get on Cobrasnake or Vice with just a fucked-up amount of hair gel and some eyeliner, but this puts me over the top." And honestly, if you doubt the veracity or common sense of GossipGirl.net at any time, I would refer you to the bewitching Cory Kennedy, who is only a name you know because of real life GG.net. "I don't know. Why don't you buy him a gold money clip from Cartier and say it's $49.99? He won't know the difference." Word. Problem solved, since it was never actually a problem except in Dan's pointy little insecure head. Blair dials Freddy Parnes's agency with S's head on her shoulder: "I'm booking me a model." Serena's like, "I'm content to wait and see what the evil fruits of this incomprehensible plan actually are before I pass judgment."

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Gossip Girl

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