Gossip Girl
Roman Holiday

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
Vanity Blair

"Other families have a merry little Christmas even when their troubles aren't so far away..." meaning, of course, the Humphreys, where they're giving Rufus hell on the why and wherefore of his leaving Xmas morning so Alison can be with her children. The parents are sad, and ashamed. But they are also right, and they love their children. And honestly, there's a lot to love. You could do a lot worse than Dan and Jenny. I'd want to spend one last day with them too, if I were Alison. And she looks so much more beautiful than she ever has. She is more lost than Lily or even Eleanor, if you think about it. How much of it is Jenny wanting a mommy and how much of it is knowing that neither Rufus nor Alison is capable of being alone? They apologize, which is one gift, and they love, all together, all at once, which is really the only thing Humphreys are good at.

"Some presents might end up getting returned..." Bart gives his lover's son Eric a Florida sweatshirt, recalling how much the kid loved Florida, back when he was lying to cover Lily's ass about his mental patient gig. "Yeah. Wow. Uh, number one fan. You know, I'm...I'm sorry I didn't get anything for you, Mr. Bass, but, uh, I didn't know you'd be coming for Christmas." Mr. Bass begs him to call him "Bart." Sooo scary. "But some gifts are for keeps," Gossip Girl giggles. Serena -- dressed in severely Underpantsy Underpants -- runs gracious circles around the tree, trying to make Bart Bass feel at home, like she always does and always will. "Eric. Serena. I just want you to know that I have deep feelings for your mother," Bart begins, and just then Lily's phone rings. Serena takes pains to point this out. "Um, Lily, you're not gonna want to interrupt this moment." Really? He kneels: "Other presents come when you least expect them," says Gossip Girl. Out in the courtyard, Rufus shivers, snow all over his sexy Henley, talking to voicemail. "Hey, Lil. You know everything's closed on Christmas? Diners that claim to be open 24/7...it's false advertising." Lily looks at Bart down on the floor and shivers. "And everyone knows the biggest present comes in the smallest box," says GG, enjoying this more than she ought.

"So, uh, Alison's leaving. She's spending time alone with the kids. And I seem to have walked all the way from Brooklyn to your doorstep without a jacket, in the snow." [PS: Bullshit. I mapped it out on Google Maps and it's 7.1 miles to the Palace at least, and Rufus Humphrey is not a hardy man. I'm not sure I could do it, and I'm a bearish twice his weight.] "So what the hell? I miss you...and I have been missing you for a while." He hangs up, the victim of his own stuff. "Lily," says poor Bart, "Would you do me the honor of being my wife?" Her phone alerts again: Rufus has left his sad little message. Lily looks from Bart to phone, Bart to phone, begging the writers to have finished at least one more script before the strike...

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