Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Fundamentals Of Botany, 1916

"The Skylark," Rufus intones, which somehow surprises Lily. "Of course I do, they served us wine in Welcome Back, Kotter mugs. I swiped Horshack for you." (And from which, of course, he's slugged his coffee every morning since.) Lily laughs, finally laying one hand along his, as though this isn't a Serena Plan and thus doomed to end in tears... "I know we talked about the Pierre, but an inn like the Skylark might be a cool place to get married in..." Aaaaaaand there it is.

"No offense," Rufus continues (and means!), "But you've already done the fancy wedding thing... A few times... Don't you want to do something more? For us?"

"Very little thought will enable one to understand at once the profound significance to the plant of its ability to adjust its organ as to bring them into harmony with surrounding influences."

Lily gets mean. "Well yeah, that's great, Rufus. I'm sure that Mayor Bloomberg would feel perfectly comfortable toasting us with a Freddie 'Boom-Boom' Washington cup. That is so you." Hand to God: "Not 'us.'" Rufus bristles, determined to drive this car into the wall: "I'm sorry, I didn't realize the Mayor was coming. I've never even met the man..."

If a stem, bent over, could not erect itself, if leaves could not assume positions that secure the most favorable illumination, if stems and leaves were not correlated to each other, most plants would soon be out of harmony with their environment and would sicken and die."

Lily reminds him of those "certain expectations" that come with "being Lily Bass," and nastily asks once again if he even gets that. "Maybe I don't? Because every time we get to a good place, I do or say something that makes you angry." Good point. Lily says this is because Rufus is incapable of compromise, which is also a good point, and so there is silence. He can't even look at her; he stares out the window instead. "You know what? Maybe we aren't ready to talk." She bounces; he is stoic and sad. Poor old Rufus.

Vanessa is seriously photoshopping Olivia's face into a picture of Orlando Bloom -- with giant headphone cans (of course) on, stupidly -- when Dan walks in and immediately starts screaming. It looks pretty bad. She swears she can explain, and he's like, "I am ready to hear that you are in love with me. In fact, I already knew. In fact, I've always known..." Vanessa tries valiantly to dislodge him from this horrific train of thought, but it's Dan: no dice. He goes on at length, adding up the clues, until she's too ashamed and creeped out to do anything but shout, "Stop! I'm not in love with you, you moron! Georgina's been blackmailing me." Only on this show would that actually be more likely, of course, so he immediately shuts his trap and is like, "I'm your best friend, tell me what she's blackmailing you about." And Vanessa, amid major gulps and eye-rolls and general freaking out... Totally does.

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Gossip Girl

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