Gossip Girl
Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 370 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
A Generous Serving

Chuck gets his best scene all year -- probably to do with the fact that it's not delivered to that one window in the Empire suite -- as he explains that he's been going totally nuts this whole time, ever since Elizabeth Fischer was running around in a graveyard for no reason, and meanwhile Diana's been acting like Nate's sugar daddy, and posing around his apartment in the altogether, and generally just turning each and every one of his sexual issues up another five notches.

Serena: "I feel yucky."
Lola: "Rejoice! I was right!"
Serena: "You ruined a party. And a life."

Creepy Couple: "This is too hipster psuedointellectual for us. We have to go back to the Oracle Club for some well-deserved discussion of some barely esoteric shit."

Blair: "Well, that was a disaster. Neither uptown nor downtown. Just a bloody mess."
Dan: "It was neither smart nor interesting. The opposite of us."
Blair: "We tried to create a world that was for both of us, but it failed miserably."
Dan: "I hope you are miserable. That was my plan all along."
Blair: "Then I guess we give up. Your ludicrous boundary issues make for some unassumable shapes, for both of us."
Dan: "No, mostly for you. Farewell."

LATER

Lola: "Look, I'm sorry for hurting Chuck. But not you, Serena."
Nate: "I am giving both of you a generous serving of the stinkeye."

Lola: "Where are you going?"
Nate: "Uh, Chuck is torn apart and in need of comfort. Did you not see him? He was closer to tears than he's been since his dad died, and I plan to benefit from it. This Maybe just turned into a Sure Thing."
Lola: "But I'm torn apart too! I am in need of comfort too!"
Nate: "For what, pulling a Vanessa? It was annoying enough when you were going after S, but I fail to see why you did this Chuck thing. Explain it to me, indicting Serena as Gossip Girl."
Lola: "...No, I can't. That would be three things."
Nate: "Then farewell."
Serena: "Thanks."

Everybody leaves, and Lola's just standing in the loft alone. Even Dan's cleaning up around her -- that Garden State blur that so eloquently evokes loneliness-in-action -- with this hilarious look like, "Bitch, why are you still here?"

Gossip Girl

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