S: Posting about how Lola is over. Grimly, now, like she's hacking through saplings. B&D: In bed, still yammering about fucking Damian Hirst and whatever. Jesus Christ with those two. Chuck: Still smoldering. When did he get so hot? With Nate cleaning up around him, in that same blur. Their life, taking place around him. Nate hands him a drink and they will, one presumes, somehow deal.
Lola: "Mom Aunt Carol, you were right. These people are toxic and I should have stayed away. Thank God I don't have anything else tying me to the Rhodes, Bass, Humphrey or Archibald clans."
Wm vdW: "You forgot to say van der Woodsen! No takebacks!"
GG Text: "Girl, we both know that wasn't the secret I was talking about."
Nate goes digging through Liz Hurley's stuff for her financials, finally takes off his shirt again, and inevitably Chuck will walk in on them fucking. Serena, Diana and GG will enter Round IV of the War Of The Passwords. Dan and Blair will crawl right into each other's ear canals to see which one of them is more precious, resulting in a vapid two-headed donkey creature that just roams from Pub Trivia to Pub Trivia every night, desperately trying to prove something they should already know, to a world that doesn't even care.
JACOB "LEFT EYE" CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps Gossip Girl, The Good Wife, and The Killing for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, on Twitter, and on Facebook.