Gossip Girl
Salon Of The Dead

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
A Generous Serving

Fois, she says. Simply, fois. This is a generous serving indeed. A generous serving of Not At All How I Saw This Going.

Dan: "Should we invite Serena?"
Blair: "Not if we want to have fun."
Dan: "Not that we do, but okay. How about Nate?"
Blair: "That bitch can't read. Come on."
Dan: "That's... Literally all of our friends."
Blair: "What about that creepy Oracle Club couple? Surely they're desperate for human contact. And we can invite Diana Payne!"
Dan: "Wherefore?"
Blair: "The plot, silly! Of this TV show we're on?"

WALDORF

Lola: "Hey, I just wandered in here for the third time today."
Dorota: "Get your ass up stairs and to fix Serena. She locked in cave like blonde Unibomber."

TWO FT AWAY

Blair: "At least Gossip Girl won't be at our salon. And you can read from your second book, to all the glitterati and literati!"
Lola: "My incomprehensible plan is arranging itself with no effort from me!"

She quickly texts GG from Dorota's phone about how Dan's going to be reading from the Inside sequel tonight at Dair's salon, just knowing that ... Either GG or Serena could give a shit about that somehow?

PRADA

Vanya: "I bring Rufus baggage. Bozhe moi he has a generous serving."
Lily: "You're tellin' me, sister."
Vanya: "He keep talking to me about Magnetic Field..."
Lily: "Yeah, I don't... He heard about them on NPR and somehow got confused and he thinks Stephin Merrit's this great new discovery he made and he keeps trying to turn people onto him and it's just so embarrassing. Everybody's being really nice about it, but I wonder if I shouldn't just gently say something."

SoHo Grand: "Is Rufus Humphrey there? I need to verify his credit card information."
Lily: "For what, pray tell?"
SoHo Grand: "He's putting up a young woman here in this hotel, and I haven't gotten to the part in our company handbook yet about not telling people's wives when they do that. An Ivy Dickens?"
Lily: "Oh hell no."

SOHO

Ivy Dickens, for the fourth time in as many days, lands right on her ass outside another skyscraper.

Ivy: "This is gettin' to be a regular occurrence! Better not lose my pep!"

HOSPITAL

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Gossip Girl

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