Blair: "I don't even know who you are."
Blair: "How can I Keep Calm & Carry On with the van der Sisters here?"
Dan: "Who cares? This is so intellectually stimulating!"
Blair: "No. Serena's just going to judge us the whole time for our childish sham of sophistication -- rightly so, and with a boozy air -- while Lola's just here for the PR."
Dan: "Or they came all the way to Brooklyn because they love us."
Lola: "I wonder if Gossip Girl will repeat her success tonight! What with her scoop about Inside, whenever that happened."
Serena: "She probably will, but she doesn't need to physically be here to do that. Have you still not figured out the Internet?"
Lola: "I just hope she blogs about it. To stay relevant, I mean."
Serena: "Oh my God, look. I get that as a broke-ass Florida transplant you may find Gossip Girl fascinating. I remember my first beer, too. But I just don't find her that interesting."
Lola: "How is it that neither of us has noticed this is the exact same conversation we had earlier, but in reverse?"
Serena: "Because then this episode would make zero sense. And because that speech I just handed you was so awesome I wish it were the truth."
Chuck & Nate: "Sorry we're late!"
Blair: "Oh, for fuck's sake."
Lola: "I invited them! To the party to which I was not invited!"
Blair: "Keep it comin', sister. You'll get yours. A real generous serving."
Lola: "I really invited you to prove that Serena is Gossip Girl."
Nate: "I... Know that."
Lola: "Just wanted to make sure you still knew that. You know, sometimes I think you're on board and then..."
Nate: "Anybody here could send Gossip Girl a tip. Jesus, you still don't get how...?"
Lola: "-- No, there's more to it! I have an incomprehensible plan!"
Rufus: "Anyway Vanya, did you check out the Magnetic Fields like I suggested?
Vanya: "Yes, Mr. Humphrey."
Rufus: "They are the next big thing, I mean it."
Vanya: "Yes, Mr. Humphrey. So you've said, Mr. Humphrey."
Rufus: "By that stomping and glaring, Lily, I presume I have offended?"
Lily: "How fucking dare you show kindness to the only person my mother ever loved?"