Gossip Girl
Salon Of The Dead

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
A Generous Serving

Rufus: "Oh, we're playing a self-righteousness game? I am a master. Bring it."
Lily: "She's a thief!"
Rufus: "She's a little girl! I felt responsible for her homelessness because of how we are to blame."
Lily: "Behind my back."
Rufus: "Deploying the Humphrey Card... Now. I did the Right Thing."
Lily: "Yeah, bitch. With my money."

Oh, see. Dammit, Lily. Because now Rufus is not only in the right, but you also played a card you're not allowed to play. Maybe the most unplayable card in the entire deck. So even if he were wrong, somehow, you'd still have just lost this one.

Rufus: "...And so I'm your whore. Okay, good. Glad that's finally on the table."
Lily: "As if it comes as a shock. Give me a fucking break and pick up your face."

It's not like I can even stretch to be on Lily's side with this like usual, because she's acting like the evil barker at a haunted carnival with the Ivy thing, but for real. Anybody ever said that to me? Whoo boy. I wouldn't even call Suze Orman first: Just go into full Angela Bassett mode, set that motherfucker on fire.

"Oh, 'your money'? I shit on your money. Your insurance settlement, how 'bout?"

SALON

Chef: "[Chef Talk]".
That One Gay Extra Who Is At Every Single Party On This Show: "Hey."
This Guy Who's Like PC Petersen Plus A Beard!: "I am delectable."

Dan: "[Something about ice? They need ice. It's Brooklyn.]"
Blair: "WWDPD? What Would Dorothy Parker Do?"
Dan: "Be interesting or fun or clever in some way? Actually have conversations at a party about conversations?"
Blair: "You're right. We have to get them drunk so they don't notice this whole ice-getting debacle."

Dair: "Let's call this what it is: A big ass-sniffing game of Who Is The Smartest Guy In The Room?"
A Generous Serving: Raises hands. But they can't all be right.

Lola: "Why talk about famous authors, when we have a failed one right here?"
Dair: "What are you talking about."
Lola: "Talk about your book, the sequel to Inside!"

Serena slips out to chat with Diana, leaving her phone on the table next to Lola for no reason I can see. My notes:

so Lola steals it and
what is even going on tonight

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Gossip Girl

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