Gossip Girl
Salon Of The Dead

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
A Generous Serving

Serena: "Rufus Humphrey has taught me a lot."
Lola: "How about you ignore my question, then, and answer an unrelated one that's really just more talking about yourself."
Serena: "I haven't been Gossip Girl for very long. But right now, it's the only thing I have. This witch's cave has some cobwebs, let me tell you, and don't even get me started on the separate trainwrecks that are my professional and academic lives. Since my shit is permanently out of control, I thought at least I could play God on the Internet."
Lola: "But that's literally what she's been doing to you for five years."

Serena: "What can I say? Life's a bitch, and sometimes character serves plot. But in some ways, a generous serving of adversity can make you stronger. Stronger and stronger and stronger, until you become an asshole. You'll see."
Lola: "No, I won't. I'm going back to Juilliard. You can have the UES."

Amazing: "You're the only It Girl that matters anyway. You see to that yourself."

Nice. Well done, Charlie/Lola. You have become my favorite and my best for this week. She leaves Serena standing there, mouth-breathing, as she tries to figure out how that was a burn.

RUFUS

Barkeep: "Rufus Humphrey? Your card has been declined."
Rufus: "Uh, no. I am one of the highest-paid hookers in Manhattan. Run that shit again."
Barkeep: "I ran it four times, actually."

Lily: "Yeah I fuckin' did."

Rufus: "Then I guess I will pay you with my last cash."
Barkeep: "Daddy Warbucks don't grow on trees -- at least on a tree that grows in Brooklyn. Remember that."
Rufus: "That's what's so ironic is that I threw my own daughter out of the house when she was a child, but now I'm losing it over some grifter I barely know -- and ended up homeless myself! Guess I was Pretty Reckless."
Barkeep: "I hear ya, sister. Just stay away from teen models and teen drug pushers. The last girl who was in here, Jenny Humphrey, well... Let's just say it didn't end well."

AFTERMATH

S: Posting about how Lola is over. Grimly, now, like she's hacking through saplings. B&D: In bed, still yammering about fucking Damian Hirst and whatever. Jesus Christ with those two. Chuck: Still smoldering. When did he get so hot? With Nate cleaning up around him, in that same blur. Their life, taking place around him. Nate hands him a drink and they will, one presumes, somehow deal.

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Gossip Girl

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