POP-UP FASHION SHOPPE COSPONSORED BY BARNEYS NEW YORK IN ASSOCIATION WITH WALDORF DESIGN'S NEW "B" IMPRINT FOR TEEN BITCHES WHO WANT TO LOOK LIKE SCARY OLD LADIES FROM A DYSTOPIA

Sage: "Blair, the good news is we showed up. The bad news is, we are going to hate your clothes, because we have even worse taste than you do and because Serena's laughably stupid plan was characteristic of Serena's every plan."
Nelly Yuki: "I have to go interview those mean teen girls from the five major prep schools at this goat rodeo of a fashion line that has been discredited at least three times in the last three weeks. That's the kind of thing WWD readers can't get enough of."

NASTY DEN OF IVY

Wm vdW: "How do you know he couldn't tell it was me?"
Ivy: "He wouldn't have left that out of his bitching, and also he is old and can't see so well. The good thing is that now I don't have to invent a reason for breaking up with him. Not that I would have to, because he is Rufus Humphrey and the uncountable reasons to not date him dwarf any possible reason you actually would."
Wm vdW: "Well, as long as he still hates Lily. If he takes her back once she hits bottom, it's all for naught! We need her at her absolute worst if I'm ever going to throw you over for her. If she gets back together with him -- if they are both that sad and desperate -- I'm screwed."
Ivy: "So what you're saying is, we are in true love."
Wm vdW: "Just don't fuck this up with Bart, okay?"

POP-UP SHOPPE

Feds: "Where's this Ivy girl with that 'microfilm'? Why are you dicking us around? We're leaving, Chuck."
Chuck: "Man, what is the world coming to when you can't even expect Ivy Dickens to wander into an obvious trap."

Blair: "Well, everything on my end is going shitty."
Chuck: "Yes, it's all about you."
Blair: "What I need is for Sage to be the It Girl for Waldorf Designs."
Chuck: "Isn't she like right over there? Or did she see through Serena's incredibly naïve and stupid ruse?"
Blair: "Yeah, I better go get Serena to help. She's always so competent and helpful all the time."

Chuck: "I have to go. Let's keep believing in each other and that love will triumph."
Blair: "Duh. Like I'm doing any of this in my own interest."