Wm vdW: "Well, as long as he still hates Lily. If he takes her back once she hits bottom, it's all for naught! We need her at her absolute worst if I'm ever going to throw you over for her. If she gets back together with him -- if they are both that sad and desperate -- I'm screwed."
Ivy: "So what you're saying is, we are in true love."
Wm vdW: "Just don't fuck this up with Bart, okay?"
Feds: "Where's this Ivy girl with that 'microfilm'? Why are you dicking us around? We're leaving, Chuck."
Chuck: "Man, what is the world coming to when you can't even expect Ivy Dickens to wander into an obvious trap."
Blair: "Well, everything on my end is going shitty."
Chuck: "Yes, it's all about you."
Blair: "What I need is for Sage to be the It Girl for Waldorf Designs."
Chuck: "Isn't she like right over there? Or did she see through Serena's incredibly naïve and stupid ruse?"
Blair: "Yeah, I better go get Serena to help. She's always so competent and helpful all the time."
Chuck: "I have to go. Let's keep believing in each other and that love will triumph."
Blair: "Duh. Like I'm doing any of this in my own interest."
IVY DICKENS' DEN O' DICKIN'
Bart: "Fine, I'm divorcing Lily. Where is the 'microfilm'?"
Ivy: "Hang on while I take off all my clothes."
Bart: "Wait, what?"
Ivy: "I am full of surprises today. You're going to have to do better than just divorcing Lily, considering she's gotten divorced more times than she's gotten married."
Blair: "For no reason whatsoever, I am now going to scream at you for a million years and accuse you of sabotage!"
Serena: "You are fucking exhausting."
Blair: "I know, can you help me? You asshole?"
Serena: "No. But here are some platitudes about how you can do anything if you just believe, instead."
Blair: "Thanks, you're the best friend a lunatic could ever want. I especially like the way you are so oblivious that you don't even notice me constantly being truly awful to you in the grip of my medically relevant mood swings."
Dons: "...Actually we love these clothes!"
Sage: "But I thought we were going to fuck everything up here!"
Dons: "Sadly, no. This creepy fashion of the past is the fashion of our creepy future."