Nelly Yuki: "This is so newsworthy!"
Blair: "Even Nelly Yuki has randomly swung over to my side? Everything's comin' up dinner."
Charles: "Nathaniel, I could really use your rent-boy charms right now, for I am super bummed out. So bummed out, in fact, that I have completely lost track of my storyline and am now just wandering around hotel bars instead of stopping Ivy from molesting my father for that 'microfilm.'"
Nathaniel: "Charles, I cannot muster more than a half-hearted dryhump. For you see, I have betrayed you to your father."
Charles: "Nathaniel, tell me from the beginning what has happened. I will sit quietly and listen to you puzzle it out from within your marijuana fog, while elsewhere my storyline in this episode is still going on."
Bart: "Fine, I'll fuck you. But I need that 'microfilm' first."
Ivy: "Oh, we're not actually going to have sex. Just pretend."
Bart: "What is your deal? Why are you like this? What are you even talking about right now?"
Ivy: "I want to take sexy pictures with you that make it look like we fucked, because I'm so unimaginative I think that making a checklist of Lily's husbands and fucking them will embarrass her. You'll be number three, so we're halfway there. Get undressed."
Bart: "You are a fucking idiot. Like anybody would care. Like any of this reflects poorly on Lily in any way. I can't believe you've spent this whole season thinking any of this matters. Give me the 'microfilm' and you have a deal. Because whatever, this whole thing is stupid, but at least I won't have to kill you today."
Chuck: "-- Ivy, don't do this! Don't have sex with my dad!"
Bart: "Too late, we already did. You should see your face right now."
Lily: "Rufus? What the fuck are you doing here? Pull up some floor, I'm having a 'wine picnic' on the floor. Well, it didn't start out on the floor, but..."
Rufus: "Lily, I have some 'microfilm' here for you. Turns out the only thing I love more than hating you is yelling at women and giving them their just desserts."
Ivy: "Oh my God, you guys. This is so weird, you're gonna laugh, but the 'microfilm' is like totally gone. The Envelope is empty."
Bart: "You know that I will actually murder you, right?"