Chuck: "He will. Maybe I will too."
Ivy: "Yeah, all right. Let me think of who might have stolen it. I'm completely irrelevant to everybody else's life on this entire show except for Rufus, so it's gonna be a short list."
Rufus, verbatim: "Since when did you start spiking your chamomile?"
Lily, verbatim: "Oh, it's been a rough day."
These two. I tell ya.
Lily: "So what was it that tipped you off that Ivy was untrustworthy? Was it the way she was dressed at that auction? Because that was some Sage-level bullshit. Or maybe it was the time she impersonated our daughter's sister/cousin and made our son fingerbang her on Queller's desk while hollering Serena's name. Or maybe it was the time she popped out from behind my mother's casket and threw us both out on the street. Or maybe it was the time she let you get an ulcer about money while sitting on infinite funds and wearing leg warmers with shorts. Or the four times she has conspired to steal the Rhodes fortune, or the time she tricked Serena into buying her a house, or the time her boyfriend tried to kill everybody, or the time she dyed her hair and went undercover as my mother's nurse, or the time..."
Rufus: "Did you really never catch on to the fact that I'm into young girls?"
Lily: "The important thing is that we are family. And I am drunk. And we are best friends. And we have eleven children, including a secret one. And you brought me this 'microfilm' and I am drunk, also."
Dan: "Oh, shit. Are you guys back together? And what does this say about my relationship with Serena? And will I still be able to live here? Mostly the last one."
Rufus: "I was just bringing Lily something Ivy stole from her. It is called my dick."
Bart: "Who is this loser that isn't calling you back?"
Ivy: "It's really not, like, that mysterious. Think about it."
(Lonelyboy: "Dear Charles, please come to PRADA where Lily has your documents. Love, Daniel.")
Chuck: "Fuck this, I'm out."
Bart: "Oh, gotta go take care of more of Blair's problems and act against your own interests like I'm always saying you do, but in fact you never do? And she always does?"
Chuck: "Yeah, whatever."
Bart: "I am literally going to kill you. How do you not understand this?"
Ivy: "Let's just stand here in our underwear for like a few more hours. I'm kind of at a loss."