Bart: "So we understand each other."
Chuck: "All right, you donkey. Give me the 'microfilm' and I'll reverse-pickpocket it onto Lily's person at the pop-up fashion shoppe cosponsored by Barneys New York, where the Feds will find it on her."
Ivy: "That sounds just as likely as every other scheme this season. You're on."
Rufus: "Dan, why are you going through my shit? Don't we hate each other?"
Dan: "Yeah, I wanted to say I'm sorry for being a disgusting, worthless person."
Rufus: "Son, you do realize that when you apologize for something, you're implying you won't immediately do it again?"
Dan: "In six seasons I have not figured that out. And this season, it's the opposite of my every action. So no."
Rufus: "Well, as it turns out today is your lucky amnesty day. Can you believe that a hot blonde 20-year-old with a body like that was only using me?"
Dan: "Really? To what end? How on earth could her dating you since last season possibly have lead to this?"
Rufus: "Just work with me. I saw her kissing an old man who was not me, after Lily told me she stole some kind of 'microfilm' or some shit..."
Ivy: "Hi, honey! I'm home!"
Rufus: "You know how I love getting pissy with women and only women, because I am utterly impotent and devoid of masculinity?"
Ivy: "It is the Humphrey way. What's this all about?"
Rufus: "I saw you kissing an old man who was not me! Get the fuck out of my house! And take some but not all of your money with you! And leave all the things you bought me!"
Ivy: "This is my crying face. It is a lie."
Dan: "Is that the 'microfilm' sticking out of your purse? I could grab it, but I don't guess I feel like doing that right now. I'm just going to go."
Blair: "Serena, you were right! Everything is about you. Let's get to that pop-up fashion shoppe cosponsored by Barneys New York so we can see whether or not this latest dumb plan of mine will work!"
Serena: "What else are best friends for?"
Sage: "Don Brearley, my father is miserable with heartache. I don't think he is really back together with Serena. So that means, somehow, that we are going to sabotage the pop-up fashion shoppe cosponsored by Barneys New York."