Gossip Girl
Save The Last Chance

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Our Time Is Running Out

I mean, sure: Lily has become the nexus of the show mainly by marrying everybody on it, so it makes sense for her to be the Macguffin of all this hustle -- even though honestly the only person who should have a grudge against her is Serena, because Lily actually doesn't really do bad stuff -- and the main target can't be either of the two leads, because it's the last season and that would be unbalanced if it were all about Serena, like the Juliet thing, or all about Blair, like the ten billion years of Printh Louie. The major scheming this year had to be about Lily, I can accept that.

But so Will and his bastard daughter give Ivy an infinite number of funds -- which she does nothing with -- and she moves in with Rufus so she'll have access to Lily's secrets -- which she does nothing with -- and they open an art gallery, which Ivy pays for? (While making sure Rufus hates Lily enough not to pity her later, I'll grant that part of the plan works for all the players, even though it amounted to Ivy just calling her a bitch over and over until Rufus started to agree with her, like a brainwashing victim.) Then there's an art auction for reasons that have nothing to do with any of this, which results in a painting that was not supposed to be auctioned off but that happens to have 'microfilm' attached to it that nobody knew about, and also Will has been sleeping with Ivy this whole time, the better to keep her in play... I mean, what is any of this?

POP-UP FASHION SHOPPE COSPONSORED BY BARNEYS NEW YORK IN ASSOCIATION WITH WALDORF DESIGN'S NEW "B" IMPRINT FOR TEEN BITCHES WHO WANT TO LOOK LIKE SCARY OLD LADIES FROM A DYSTOPIA

Sage: "Blair, the good news is we showed up. The bad news is, we are going to hate your clothes, because we have even worse taste than you do and because Serena's laughably stupid plan was characteristic of Serena's every plan."
Nelly Yuki: "I have to go interview those mean teen girls from the five major prep schools at this goat rodeo of a fashion line that has been discredited at least three times in the last three weeks. That's the kind of thing WWD readers can't get enough of."

NASTY DEN OF IVY

Wm vdW: "How do you know he couldn't tell it was me?"
Ivy: "He wouldn't have left that out of his bitching, and also he is old and can't see so well. The good thing is that now I don't have to invent a reason for breaking up with him. Not that I would have to, because he is Rufus Humphrey and the uncountable reasons to not date him dwarf any possible reason you actually would."

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Gossip Girl

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