Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Your Brain In Spain, Or: Pesach Shellshock

The MGMT song performed its melancholy duty during the football game, but only a jazz remix could evoke so easily the cage Tripp's walked into, with Nate following dumbly after. Tripp is a nickname, obviously, for the third first son, William III, and I love the way he's used in these van der Bilt stories to provide the messages about Granderbilt's intentions. It's not that he doesn't dig Nate, because who wouldn't, and it's not that he's jealous of Nate's life, because who could be. He's accustomed to his life, he's been molded beyond recovery, and just wants Nate to know all the things he doesn't, just like Maureen is able to run fifty committees and still find time to subtly warn Vanessa to get the fuck out of there. You know? I'm sad that they'll never be real characters, but the way they're used as tools is dreadfully original and sympathetic. Of course, I say that and probably next week will be a closed-room mystery where they figure out that Tripp poisoned Granderbilt to get the family millions or something.

The lyrics apply equally to Blair and to Vanessa ("I've got a man who's always late/ Any time we have a date/ But I love him.../ And I'm gonna have him...") whenever the van der Bilts are involved, but of course here it's a way of having old people music and eating our cake too, in not being driven crazy by actual old people music, and a way of illustrating the creaking inability of our generation to get it together for the silly shit our grandparents think is important, in enough time to understand why.

Nate's still checked out, but treating her well. She tells him not to bother his grandfather with Columbia talk, and he shoves past Granderbilt, promising he won't talk to William about that, or anything else for that matter. "Is there a problem, Blair?" She fairly salutes, shooting William a reassuring smile, grabbing a champagne glass, and launching herself after him. If she's got the family all she needs is Nate, and she's had him forever.

Lily and Rufus randomly show up for the Seder at Eleanor's, so that Lily can pimp Rufus to rich people who like to buy art, without of course telling him about it because he's Rufus, he'd find a way to object, and Eleanor thanks her for inviting herself, mentioning once again that Cyrus's mother hates her. "Another friendly face is always welcome," she says, and turns a mutually not-so-friendly smile to the very wary Rufus, blowing him a hilariously disinterested kiss and prancing past his offered coat. She almost tells him that his son is a servant at dinner, but takes her tiny revenge at the last second. I'd be wondering if he had any other kids I could buy at some point. How awesome would it be if Pilot Inspektor turned out to somehow end up employed by Eleanor Waldorf?

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Gossip Girl




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