Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Your Brain In Spain, Or: Pesach Shellshock

Which is fine, except of course Serena understands the concept of money and as usual doesn't really care how much money Dan has or where it comes from, and would never be so crass as to apologize Dan for his manner of employment in the first place. (God, nothing pisses me off more than when people apologize to the cleaning lady, like, "I just wanted you to know that your job is totally beneath me, so I'm really sorry that you have to do it -- clean up after me, I mean -- and I just wanted to you know that I'm sorry you have a job. Better luck in the next life!") So she explains that she's talking about his previous unearned and judgmental hissyfit, about the thing between he and Gabriel that is none of his goddamn business, and then just as we're heading into Season One territory he flips into being the good friend he's been lately, and points out that normal people don't just go off and suddenly get married, so clearly she's going as crazy as the rest of them are with toxic senioritis, and needs to figure out what she's avoiding or being weird about. Nicely done, Dan.

A remix of Sarah Vaughan's "Whatever Lola Wants" gives a wink to Blair's self-negating attempts at manipulations against her own best interest and Nate's -- whatever Blair-Bear wants, Serena gets -- but is also of course a reference to Damn Yankees, in which Lola is sent into seduce the main character into a Faustian bargain but is eventually rebuffed, and punished with a trip to Limbo, where she performs with the other damned souls and nobody ever gets to chair the really good committees.

Blair asks Tripp immediately what's going on with Nate, and Tripp gives her the stinkeye of Granderbilt collusion, but she swears she's changed. In that moment, she does, and realizes that she absolutely cannot sell Nate out, especially for such dumb stuff. The way Tripp reacts ("Well, be good to him, okay?") scares her to death, but Nate's stepping up to the microphone right then. Tripp gently grabs her elbow, to chill her out, and he gives a patented Nate speech.

"Most of you know me. I'm Nate Archibald, Tripp's cousin. When Tripp asked me to be the best man in his wedding, I was a little bit surprised, to say the least. But I guess Grandfather told him to choose me and that was that, so..." The crowd laughs, because they have no idea what Nate's like sober. "...We all know how important family is to William van der Bilt. But what we don't know are the many secret ways he helps us all out. For instance, today I discovered he was the one who had my father investigated by the authorities." Blair stares, William's smile falls, Nate laughs. "If he cares so much about family, then why did he destroy mine?" I so wish he'd stomped away right then, so he could charge back a second later and start yelling again. AND ANOTHER THING!

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Gossip Girl




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