Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Your Brain In Spain, Or: Pesach Shellshock

So anyway, Blair stands up to Granderbilt, and he tells her she's fucked because she can't get into any school, and stop interrogating him about the Captain because she's going to end up "sewing buttons at [her] mother's atelier" for the next year if she doesn't fix it. She realizes, as he's breathing down her neck, that she just got Blaired by a master, and goes off to I guess do his intense bidding. Meanwhile, Cyrus is still explaining everything that's going to happen at Seder, which to be fair is a good half-hour of logistics even if you leave out the reasons for everything, and Eleanor figures out that they haven't even started yet, and almost cries.

Little Miss "I Would Never Cause A Scene At Eleanor's" Lily Bass then causes a scene at Eleanor's, jumping all over Gabriel about the Spain trip and trying to get to the bottom of Serena's recent behavior in the most Rufus way possible, and S goes right for the wine like she always does, and Cyrus sweetly tells her to go ahead even though it wasn't supposed to be drunk yet, and Bathroom Monet asks if Rufus has any artists he would like but in an asshole way ("Do you represent any artists worth my attention?") which causes Rufus to get predictably bitchy, while Gabriel is asking why Dan is serving the wine and S is lying more about it, and eventually drags him down beside her -- "That's where we just moved Elijah," Cyrus moans, but lets it slide -- and Eleanor's like, "I don't fucking care what happens, because we are never eating," and Lily then has a separate freakout about Serena and Dan dating again, and Cyrus is trying to say the Kiddush and Rufus is yelling about Dan and Serena, and Chuck realizes when she bites his shoulder that he's already had this particular ballerina, and kicks her out, and it's all very messy and complex and giddy and awesome.

And there's a point to be made, if maybe not by the show itself, directly, about the world that they, and we, live in, which is that spirituality is so very difficult to find a place for in your life, and so many of these traditions seem incredibly pointless, that the fact that class warfare and romantic secrets and bad parenting and missing kids and earning money and future dreams and a hundred cell phones ringing and text messages coming in and late-night office calls and the commodification of art and Rufus's future and Eleanor's hunger all sort of converge as this unbelievable din. They're too busy trying to figure out how they all fit together as a family to think about what brought them all to that table to do so. Life is too hard and too fast and too bright to stop and listen to the words of the prayer, or think about their meaning, or see how it might help. But above it all, rising above them, is Cyrus's voice, clear as a bell, and it's never quite drowned out.

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Gossip Girl




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