Gossip Girl

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Your Brain In Spain, Or: Pesach Shellshock

Well, Cyrus and Flo Rida, who's still singing. Chuck climbs down off his lady friend and heads downstairs for a drink, where Jenny and Wes are still playing Monopoly. "What a shock, the girl from Brooklyn's a renter," he snorts when she lands on Marvin Gardens. When he starts into the details of his Russian guest, Jenny sends Wes to wait for her in the elevator and explains to Chuck the following things. First, that Chuck's boredom and existential misery are not an excuse to crap all over everybody else. Secondly, that she wouldn't even consider moving into PRADA, Lily and Rufus be damned, as long as he's living there. Third, that he's very lucky she never told Rufus about the quasi-attempted rape at Kiss On The Lips. Fourth, that Rufus would pull rank on Lily and get Chuck kicked out if she did. And finally, that this matters.

"You lost Blair, and now she's dating your best friend, so therefore the only human contact that you have -- that you don't pay for -- is the people in this house. Knowing you, you'll screw that up, too." He doesn't move at all, just stares at her paralyzed, because every word is true. He sends the girl away. But this is also true: they left the door open for Elijah, but between the two couples, there are at least two children who deserve a place at the table, and they're still out wandering.

The other one, Blair, approaches Nate with at least two kinds of worry in her eyes. He apologizes for pulling that drama queen act without warning her, and she's of course not at all interested in that, asking him if he's okay first and foremost. She's already picked her team, and the only person she's told is Tripp and he didn't even believe her. "Yeah. I mean, no. I'm not. You know, I trusted him." B's stung, but meets his eyes and assures him he's wonderful. She smiles, a bit sadly but proud to have chosen, and kisses him, heading off to grab her coat.

So of course Granderbilt shows up to hedge his bets, explaining that he only ratted the Captain out after begging him to stop doing his shadowy stuff and being a drug addict. "When he denied it to my face, I warned him that I would take action." And finally he did. "And I'd do it again." Nate's stricken, and a little embarrassed, but at least he's on the ball enough to ask why William didn't just tell him that. (Side note: why didn't William just tell him that?) Nate complains that he's tired of people going behind his back, and William decides to get his revenge on Blair by telling Nate -- just as she's sashing up her brown Holly Golightly trench -- what went down today. "Watch out, B. Seems like just when you got it right, William van der Bilt is going to do you wrong..."

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Gossip Girl

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