Dan comes clean that basically, though he respects and fears Eleanor mightily as the woman who nearly ate his sister whole, he's uncomfortable serving knishes to his frenemy Blair. "Blair won't be here. And you don't serve knishes at Passover!" Eleanor shouts triumphantly, before doubling both their pay. Corinne loudly, and hilariously, tells Dan she needs the money, and he cutely agrees. I swear he's got more chemistry with this girl than any other girl he's been in a scene with, but I don't know if she's weird looking enough to be on this show regularly. Meanwhile, Eleanor runs back out into the house yelling, "Cyrus, I think the brisket's burnin'!" Watching Eleanor break down is, in some ways, more fun than watching her daughter freak out, although points off for the predictable Jewish Mother thing, true or not.
Blair, just getting off the phone with the committee head and thus having gotten both of her Granderbilt demands met, swans into Nate's room as he's dressing for dinner. He's distracted and distant, and very insistent that he's going to Columbia. It's neat, because she's being very subtle, and I don't mean in a "for Blair" way, but his firmness is coming from the thing he learned today that we don't know yet -- about Granderbilt calling the SEC -- and yet has the same effect, paranoia and sneakiness, because of Blair's guilt at being in cahoots with Nate's van der Destiny as it would if that were the case. So it all comes out the same in the end, only once again Blair's in a drama of one and Nate's having problems he doesn't feel like talking about.
"Yale only accepted me because of my grandfather. I don't want to owe him or my family anything. After tonight, we're done with them," he says, taking her hand and kissing her forehead. She's like, "Aw, fuck." Gossip Girl's happy, because she knows "whatever happened," it's Blair that's paying for Nate and Tripp's lunch. But not even B can see that far ahead, so just like with Serena we're the only ones in suspense. Which, given that this is a show entirely about surveillance and celebrity, disclosure and shame, is a trick they should pull more often, because it's always awesome. Remember Serena's black eyes of death?
Eleanor's voice reaches unknown pitches as Cyrus's mother arrives, and she keeps running around with that brisket's burnin' idiom, like she's in a Chekov or Ibsen play ("God, where is that man [of mine]?"), until Serena and Cyrus come out of the random side room where they've been discussing her latest secret disaster. He tells her to talk to Lily -- who, after all, was the only person with enough good sense to fix the Pete Fairman issue in the five seconds it took -- but Serena is unsure. And why? Because of Lily's little speech earlier, which was uncalled for and only managed to make a somewhat lost Serena into a very lost Serena: "We're not in a good place right now. I don't think I could go up to her and say, 'Sorry, but I sort of got married in Spain. But don't worry, Cyrus is helping me get a quickie annulment.'" That's awesome! Yet again, I am jealous of Serena's entire life. Cyrus tries to help some more, but Eleanor calls him away, and there's Dan looking smoking hot in that vest he always wears. And that look of judgmental shock he also always wears.