Gossip Girl
Seventeen Candles

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 1 USERS: A+
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In Which Alliances Are Declared, And Dalliances Aired

Outside Waldorfisnacht, Nate runs into Jenny. They are both wicked nervous about going upstairs, because Blair hates one of them right now and loves the other one of them right now, for the same reasons and toward the same terrifying result. Jenny apologizes about spilling the secret about Nate's whole Serena backslide, and he tells her it's fine. They gather some wool and have what would normally be called a "conversation," if it weren't these two particular people, and then stare at some things. Jenny shows him her birthday card, which she made herself, being a Humphrey, and laughs about how it says "I'm Sorry" like thirty times, and asks him to deliver it. Instead, he asks if she wants to just go for a walk and forget about Blair for a second. I see where he's coming from, but how crass to use any excuse to keep from getting up there. I mean, I see where he's coming from, but having to have a conversation with Little J is like a sign from Blair's buddy God that you are making bad choices. They discuss how Blair is going to shoot them both in the head if they do this, but she doesn't know about it, so they can make a break for it, so then they do. Vengeance sighs heavily, puts down the book it was reading, and starts looking around for its keys.

Serena's overjoyed to see Dan at the party! And look, there's Vanessa too! How awesome! Not! Kati and Isabel stare at Vanessa like demons, and Blair looks at her with so much disgust and hatred, you'd think she was watching Reaper. "You didn't mention they were so nice," murmurs Vanessa, and she finally figures out why Dan is so afraid of Blair all the time. Too late now, rude girl. You invited yourself to this massacre. Blair stares at her hatefully some more and whispers to Serena: "Oh, sweetie, you did not tell me she looked like that. This is such a problem." Serena's like, "Yes, but why did we all assume that Dan's BFF and secondary girlfriend was a dog? He's wicked fine, he's just...poor."

Rufus and Alison have a long stupid conversation that is mandated by the plot. Basically, Alexander Bancroft was a mistake and she shouldn't have slept with him, but it was only one time, and then she thought she should give Rufus some space. Additional space to the space she gave him by totally leaving and not coming back, I guess. "This family has had way too much space!" Rufus yells. "You never should have left!" Alison is bored of having this fight over and over, and points out that she left because she wasn't happy in the first place, and now she is, in some ways, which sucks for him. "Rufus. I was there for you when you were all about your music, when you were on the road for months at a time and everything that went with it. My whole adult life has been about you. And now I'm the one that's screwed up. I guess I was a late bloomer. I just need you to care enough about me to try." Good save! That must be where Dan gets it. Rufus is also impressed with that. I hate Alison but only because I love Lily, but who knows when she or Eric will ever be around again, so I'm giving Alison points for that speech. I want to see Serena navigate Alison, because Serena's the only person I trust on this show, and her take is going to be the right one, if they ever meet, and then I'll be able to sleep at night.

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Gossip Girl

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