Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Fever Started Long Ago

Blair snags Nate and tells him that she and Chuck have to run away together because Serena isn't picking up what they're putting down. "You mean she didn't just dump her boyfriend because you two told her to?" Awesome. Awesome, Nate. I love you again. She flips the script on him, inviting him to come along, which is such a commonsensical response that I'm surprised he didn't go along with it, and he's like, "None of this is real anyway, it's just Chuck getting you into his weird games nobody ever understands." The number one thing Chuck and Blair have in common, of course, but also that's the problem. She pulls the "trust" card for the fiftieth time, rendering him speechless, and Chuck shows up with her awesome yellow riding coat. She kisses Nate sweetly, hurting Chuck a little, and they head out.

Once safely outside, Chuck lets Blair in on the fact that this is actually a night trip, because Georgina is not with her parents post-bootcamp, but some other place. "Yes, hello," Chuck says, "What time are your visiting hours? We're coming to see Georgina Sparks." Blair shivers; they haven't said her name yet. We've heard her name all through the episode, and the last few, but they haven't actually said out loud what they're planning to do, which is stop waiting for the dragon to come to them. "Get out your brooms, kids. We're off to see the Wicked Witch of the East Side."

Sunrise in a forest, where as predicted Blair and Chuck's hands have found themselves enlaced while their owners were asleep. You know, it's not a real relationship if you can't hold hands. The driver knocks on the window and they both jump up, startled, stare at their hands for a moment and immediately start separately preening. Blair moans, "I can't believe I have to see my sworn enemy with Nancy Pelosi hair!" Chuck grins, and says he should probably go in by himself. "You just said it, you're enemies. Why would she help you?" He swishes and spits into a champagne glass while Blair explains her plan to terrorize Georgina with threats of yet more bootcamp, and Chuck shakes his head. "Blair, Georgina and I go way back, we have a special bond." Yeah, ESPECIALLY GROSS.

Blair shakes her head, because Nate was totally right about the whole thing, and this was just a game to get her away from him and their first night as an apartment-having couple. Chuck doesn't deny this obvious truth, but points out that Nate is being if anything more sleazy than Chuck ever would, because this is no longer about Mole Men, it's about Chuck and it always will be, because Blair and Nate are both totally afraid of life. The fact remains, however, that Blair chose to spend a night in a car with Chuck over a night in her "honeymoon suite with Nate." Beat. "I guess we all knew your weakness for limos." She whispers it, begging him to agree, begging it to be true: "I came here for my best friend." He nods and leans in, eyes locked on her: "Is that the only reason?" They've been through so much, over and around, that the burlesque if permanently over: he's not pulling punches and she's not lying to herself any more than the automatic amount, and she knows it. She searches his face, wondering if he'll kiss her, and he jumps out of the car. She bashes her head against the limo seatback, all alone and screwed.

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Gossip Girl




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