...Who moments ago cutely led Nate away by the elbow like a girlfriend, while nagging him like an older sister: "Why didn't you call me back this morning..." He said he couldn't talk about that in public, and she clarified the problem: "When you told me you secret girlfriend was older, I thought you meant college. Not to mention Catherine's married." Nate assured her that he'd gotten dumped the night before, somehow, even though we didn't see that at all, and again Serena shifted immediately into BFF mode, all, "WHAT? Tell me." He's like, "Um, later." I really, really like this post-murder version of Serena: she's wise, and smart, but still willing to get in over her head with her friends, but still kind of...

Not flaky, and not self-centered either, and I can't think of any words for it that aren't negative or pejorative, but it's like, the coolest thing about Serena is that you can tell her anything and she won't judge you, because she just does not care. Like, she has much much love in her heart and she is very protective and all that, but on a deep level she does not give even one tiny little fuck. She just wants things to be very awesome all the time. I love that so much. She and B are a great pair because B comes off very shallow and fake but it's because she feels everything in her gut, while S is all sweetness and light and fierceness because ... what's the fucking difference? It's like the modeling thing: all they wanted was for Blair to be free, and she couldn't do it, but Serena was right there going, "For one second, stop caring, and you will become beautiful." And then again after the pregnancy scare, same deal. She can afford to be super great, because she doesn't actually care, and that's hard to explain but if they nail it this year, they'll have officially gotten to the heart of the books: To be secure in oneself is to lose essentially that part which fears others.

And hey, speaking of what would appear to be a van der Woodsen trait that skipped a generation: Chuck immediately calls Eric to confirm the Princeton thing, which is wonderful on many levels, because Eric and Chuck are their own vastly more wonderful television show I'll remind you we still have yet to see for any substantial amount of time, because once Chuck sees you as a resource he'll love you forever, because Eric couldn't love Chuck more if he were actually made of Webkinz, and best of all, because Chuck refers to James as "Blair's consort." Nate shakes his head and rolls his eyes because finally he has some drama of his own, and everybody's bogarting, but also because he naturally knows that drama is inherently stupid, and because he knows what happens when you fuck with Blair Waldorf. "Do some [British-inflected] research, Junior," says Chuck. "I'm in the mood to be right."