Chuck is resplendent in argyle sweater and knee socks, khaki shorts, and again with the sexy naughty-schoolboy hair, bowtie and ducktail. I think I am finally down with the Bass. Chuck is playing Red, of course. Eric is Blue and Nate is I guess Black. Eric is wearing like a golfer's polo with a green pattern, none too tasteful but not outlandish, and he has girlish feet even in topsiders. Nate is dressed in a ribbed tee that laces up the front, looks amazing, and had to have been a Chuck-influenced purchase. "So not only did James Schiller not go to Princeton, he also didn't go to Georgetown. In fact, I couldn't find a record of him at any of the big schools." Nate's amazed at Eric's Sherlock skills, but also I think curious as to how this is the way he fits into Chuck's schemes. "An Untalented Mr. Ripley," Chuck calls James, awesomely. "If you want entrée into the upper class, there's no easier mark than a wronged woman. It's time to call in the big guns." Chuck speed-dials a PI named Mike, causing Nate to flounce and Eric to gape. Just then, Serena storms across the lawn shouting Nate's name. Eric bounces: "I know that face. That face is not your friend." Serena has just been informed by CeCe that she's Nate's date for the Vitamin Water White Party, which is not necessary if Catherine dumped him. Nate looks dewy, and guilty. And to be honest, still a little confused.
Speaking of queer things to do in the Hamptons in the summer, let's chat while we slowly walk old-timey bicycles through a sun-dappled park. Blair begins to break up with James: "The past six days have been exactly what I needed them to be..." He agrees, and says there's something he needs to tell her -- she interrupts with a "me first" but then her phone rings with a text: Looks like I'll be seeing you and 'Princeton' at the White Party after all... She plops the phone handily into her bike's giant wicker basket, swallows, readjusts her posture and turns flirty again: "...I just wanted to ask if you'd like to come to the White Party with me tonight." He's happy to let his secret slide a bit longer, although of course B doesn't know about that because she's not looking and neither are we, but her pained smile at keeping the charade going is pretty eloquent.
Nate apologizes for once again using S as his beard, even after their whole talk this morning, but Serena has mellowed: "I get it. You have feelings for her. But let's just be honest about why you want to go tonight. You wanna check out the competition." Nate says it's not that he wants to check out the competition, he just wants to see her and her husband together, close up. Adding another concept to the list of things Nate doesn't seem to grasp. "Yeah, that's called checking out the competition. Which is stupid and potentially dangerous, Nate." He agrees, after spending way too long processing her words, but she's not done: "...But since I've been stupid and dangerous in the past, I'm not one to talk, am I?" (Might you be referring to that dude you killed? Awesome.) "It was probably gonna be an uneventful evening anyway." Wait, is she saying she's going to kill some more dudes? Is that what's going to happen? That's brilliant! At the beginning of every season, Serena should kill some guy and spend the whole season completely ignoring it, and every four episodes Dan can break up with her for no damn reason, and she won't even care because she is back on her killing spree. Serena tells him to pick her up at five and punches him softly on the shoulder for being a doofus; he stands there and feels some "feelings" or some shit.