"Spotted: Chuck Bass, waiting for the jitney. A dozen roses in one hand, his heart in the other," and a scrumptious salmon suit pulling everything together. Blair steps off the bus and looks at him with a huge smile, but not like you think. That Waldorf pride shines in the back of it. "You know what they say: a man is a good thing to come home for, but an even better thing to come home with." A tall hottie gets off the bus and kisses Blair soundly; she flashes her eyes at Chuck and he skulks off, and she makes that face she always makes. Like how there are things she doesn't like doing, and hurt her, but these are things that are more important, so she has to do these things no matter how much it hurts you, and her. Except for how, you know, she doesn't: this whole obsession with her own reputation and virtue and power of will and invulnerable -- all the things that make her awesome -- are also what she trips on, every time. He embarrassed her, and for Blair, that's even closer to the foundation stones than love, or else she could get over it. If an irresistible force met an immovable object, the resulting thing would rule the school and wear cute headbands, but it would also fuck up its life a lot of the time. Or, as Gossip Girl says: "Ain't karma a bitch? We know Blair Waldorf is."

Next day, where we are treated to some yucky Cribs-style wipes and slides before finally coming to visual rest on S and B sitting poolside. Serena's best outfit is later, but this bathing suit is definitely in Blair's Top Two outfits this week: "You didn't do anything all summer? Please don't tell me you just sat around watching The Closer and eating takeout from Nick and Toni's..." Serena corrects her, but not by much: it was Della Femina. "What about all those rumors I heard about you and Nate?" Serena shakes her head: "Completely untrue. They just got people off my back about being sad, and then Nate could do whatever he wanted, so it worked out for both of us." Instead of asking the obvious question in response, which is still going to be whether Nate is sleeping with dudes yet, B is like, "So no fun whatsoever? All summer?" Well, there was a hot lifeguard, but Serena turned him down. "What? Are you crazy? A hot lifeguard is like Kleenex: use once and throw away. You couldn't ask for a better rebound."