Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
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I Don't Want To Get Over You

S is applying lipstick when somebody, her date, honks. She's not loving that. Blair is. "Ooh, a honk instead of a knock. Did someone order a townie?" Serena goes to the window and finally, finally says something Serena would actually say: "Oh God, the lifeguard's got a Camaro. And not in an ironic 'I've Got A Camaro' way." (This is who we wanted, and you had her squealing over Vespas? Give me more.) Blair's like, "Good luck with the strange native customs, and I will tell anybody who asks, which is nobody, that you are with Nate, even though I still don't know what that's about. S thanks her and says she doesn't know where Nate is, then ducks out.

Where he is, is the bedroom Chez Madame Very-Married, whose mistress is right this second climbing around all over his muscles and bitching about how the end of the summer is so sad because beauty's but a flower which wrinkles will devour and brightness falls from the air or whatever, so you have to fuck high school boys while they're still in high school. He's like, "Let's keep doing it after school starts," which is so adorable she barely laughs in his face. "I can be really sneaky," Nate says, because he is awesome. Oh, I do love him, with a Lee Adama love; if I loved him less, I might talk about it more. "Sneaky is cute at your age. A couple decades later, not so much." He says if he's so cute then they should talk instead of fucking, implying he understands the word "cute" as much as all the other things Nate doesn't really understand, which is most things to be honest, so she blows him just to shut him up for a minute. If only it were that simple, Mädchen, but I like where your head's at. And scene.

Chuck fills James's glass at CeCe's table, and asks if he's met Harold Waldorf -- then slips a second bonus question inside the question, which is whether he knows Roman's name. Answers: Yes and yes. "Only briefly, at the château. Although Cat didn't seem to like me nearly as much. I have the scars to prove it." CeCe laughs, because when you're old, nature attacking people is funny. Chuck notes that they've certainly crammed a lot of BS into their fake romance: "I wonder, has Blair had a chance to share her favorite movies with you yet? Tiffany's, Sitting. Roman Holiday... And of course, Charade?" James is confused, because he doesn't hear the total implicatiness of Chuck's emphasis on that last: isn't her third favorite Funny Face?

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Gossip Girl

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