Serena and Nate are drinking and snoring at dinner with Julian, who quotes Scorsese saying something very close to something I've said about this show a hundred times, which is that Age Of Innocence is more violent than a hundred Scorsese films full of guns and blood. Then he calls him "Marty," which is not a theatre assholism but a film buff assholism, and Vanessa goes to the film buff asshole place with him, but remembers why they're there and says that S forced her to watch Little Foxes like three times because she's obsessed with Bette Davis. Serena: "Yeah, Bette Davis. I, um... I love her eyes. Her hair is Harlow gold..." Before she can think of more lyrics to that song, Nate's like, "I'm 'bout to bounce," and Vanessa wants to leave too, but Julian tells them both to stay because he still needs to tell them his "take." S is all over it, so V has to stay, but Nate is more bored than he's ever been in his life and takes off anyway. Julian makes a startlingly telling face once Nate stands up, and quickly begs off too.

While he's gone to pay the check -- which why would you do that if you're a college student dining with the two richest children in America, plus Vanessa who deserves nothing -- V is like, "Serena! He is AWFUL!" Serena, again, knows this and rolls her eyes like why is it even worth talking about, and points out that Vanessa and Julian have much more in common than obsessing on Nate's high school dick, and Vanessa laughs gorgeously that she, too, is totally annoying. Points for insight, but how is that better? In TV land we call this "hanging a lantern" on the problem, and it's fine, but even better would be if there were not a problem. He comes back and S says she's been thinking about Bette Davis and wants more coaching from him before the show tomorrow. He agrees to meet her and says to text him her address, which as a Constance faculty member should just get him fired right there, because enough already. S shoots V a hilarious sneaky grin, and V's like, "What are you up to?" But no, because in yet another literary -- if hackneyed -- flourish, S wants to play out Cyrano and use Vanessa's powers of annoyingness to get her freak on.

Jenny is reluctant to tell Dan about Rufus finding the letter, and though she stalls valiantly he eventually gets her to admit it. Meanwhile, Rachel is setting up a whole queer dinner with candles and the whole nine, obviously lost in some kind of bullshitty mind game with herself, and when she hears the purloined key turning in the lock, her cheeks get red like a primate, and then Rufus comes in and she turns white as a ghost and is like, "Oh, shit." But she has no idea just how good Rufus is at being simultaneously self-righteous and yet wussy about confrontation or else she would just pick up a glass of wine and stare him down, which is what you should always do with Rufus. He's all, "I believe this is yours!" and hands her the key, and she falls apart just a little bit more.