Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
The Candle & The Mirror

Next morning Rufus tells Dan that they need to talk and Dan says no they don't and Rufus says he went to Rachel's and Dan says no he didn't and Rufus says Dan is being stupid and Dan says Rufus is stupid and Rufus says that Dan is getting played and Dan says that he's a big boy blah blah blah. Just imagine the scene when Jenny ran away and that's the exact same scene about how Dan is not a child anymore and Rufus is just dumb and Rachel is Dan's fashion career. And the whole time Jenny's in the corner like, "This is so embarrassing from the outside. Damn."

Serena and Julian practice on her couch, but she's so into Julian and trying to kick this stuff up a notch that he thinks she's even more confused about her role than she is, and brings up The House of Mirth, and we learn that V is living in S's ear right now in the form of a bluetooth. So she talks her through some ungodly conversation about how shitty the Great Gatsby movie was, which is like the most unoriginal critique ever because people have been saying it since the second the movie opened and it's less like a conversation between film buffs and more like the idea of a conversation between film buffs. Which for once is not a failing of the writing, but actually right on target. Vanessa goes off about all the reasons people hated the movie -- which, do you have that one friend who gets their opinions from the vile mire of hate and idiocy that is imdb? Why would you ever go there or post there, honestly -- and finally the onslaught of other people's opinions coming into her earhole is too much and she goes, "Whoa, slow down!" in the middle of a sentence. Julian is of course confused by this, and Serena is totally awesome: "It's just that sometimes my thoughts come so fast that I get confused."

Word! I love Serena. So he shrugs it off and goes back to harping on Gatsby, and Vanessa is like, "So just say whatever I say." Of course this immediately goes to a place where Vanessa is flirting with Julian on the phone -- which is exactly what's happening, via S -- and Nate arrives at the gallery and overhears this, and gears up to throw a massive, awesome fit at a later time. Serena is just about ready to pounce on him when a GG blast comes up, and this time Anonymous is talking about the whole press release issue with Yale which never actually went down. Which makes it worse, because it's like, "The only reason she ever would have gotten in is this thing, so it's good that she didn't." I don't understand Anonymous at all, at this point: why would you come after S too? Wouldn't that make it more suspicious? I mean, I understand narratively that it creates drama between S and B because now S has an imaginary reason to hate B back, but why would Anonymous care about that at all? She's never been particularly against S, and knows that S and Lonelyboy are broken up. I feel like we missed a scene where Anonymous got confused about the relationship status, maybe. You know?

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Gossip Girl




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