Gossip Girl

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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The Candle & The Mirror

Serena finishes up her scene onstage with Dan and runs off to explain the abortive phone call earlier to Vanessa, who is awesomely turning into one of the stock coworkers on The Hills/The City who only comes alive to talk to Serena about her problems. Meanwhile, Dan is onstage with the most hilariously shitty Brit accent of all time, and Rachel is like enraptured: "But I shall never let her see the least signs that I am conscious of there being a shadow on poor Ellen Olenska's reputation..."

There's much busy business onstage as Nelly Yuki's character welcomes the couple to her tacky home and awkwardly attempts to fan herself. The accents, all through the play, are so disastrously hilarious that it makes me wonder if we're not going meta on Lord Marcus himself now. OMG, remember "My name is actually Marcus Beaton... I'm British. And a Lord"? That makes me so in love with the world, still. YouTube was invented for that shit. So then Chuck has a little meeting with Mr. Campbell and tries to pump him for information about the UES EWS, but he's like, "Obviously I can't talk to you about that thing I don't know anything about," and Chuck threatens him with "the authorities," which is hilarious because the entire point is that they are the authorities, and Campbell runs off and Chuck gets a text from Elle to meet him at the Eastview Hotel right then so that they can club this storyline to death already.

Julian is theatre people some more -- "The great Uta Hagen used to tell actors, give birth to the new person you are to become. Well, with act one behind you and act two looming, my friends, you are still in labor... Remember, being onstage is like standing on the edge of a cliff. What saves you is the love and trust you have in each other" -- and even Serena is rolling her eyes. Also, the renowned theater critic Charles Isherwood from the renowned New York Times is there, and any fuckups will result in murder. Then there's a brief but very embarrassing scene of Charles Isherwood attempting to have a conversation with Doppelqueller that's so awkward and deranged it sort of works. Or as Charles would say, "The classic interpretation of a living human being standing and walking, juxtaposed with the radical deconstruction of simple acts of communication like 'Hello' and 'Thank you'... The repressed critic melding with the show and aggressively expressing his autism... However did you come up with it?"

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Gossip Girl

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