Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
The Candle & The Mirror

Jenny shoves the big gay gun around on the table a little bit, notifying Julian that she's added the fur collar to Olenska's Act II dress, and he spits out "Add fur to the cuffs!" before yelling at Humphrey to get backstage because it's time. Dan stands up, obviously exhausted from the way Julian keeps nattering at them, and Jenny's like, "This is even worse than working for Eleanor... Maybe."

Rachel comes in and reenacts the opening scene from the book: Dan's vision is so focused on her at first, coming down the aisle as he's reaching the stage, that he doesn't immediately hear the other teachers laughing at Rachel and what a fucking loser she is. He gets totally lost in a dreamworld of magic where nothing is as it seems and pedophilia's just another word for nothing left to lose, and the horrible drama wheels of romance in his brain start turning once again as he wonders, "How can I make this all about me?"

(There's a funny little moment here where Siouxie's "Hong Kong Garden" comes in -- which is hard to explain because it's sort of Sarah Silverman-esque in that it comes off racist unless you know it's about racists -- and I was all set to go off on how it was just like that string quartet version of "Time Is Running Out" from the original Yale episode, that gave me all the dorky literary chills, because it starts out in one scene as an orchestral arrangement and then bridges to the next scene as the actual song. It's pretty fitting, not in words or time period -- is Rufus lurking somewhere nearby? -- but in tone, because I mean, don't you think lo-fi goth-punk when you see Jenny these days? I mean that as a compliment.

But then I remembered that the strings/actual song part of this song happened on the Marie Antoinette soundtrack, which -- intended or not -- actually makes a whole other set of points entirely: firstly that the forced shallowness of society and aristo politics was not exactly invented by Edith Wharton and the French have been acting like dickholes longer than there's been a New York City, and secondly that the curious steampunky "time as a color" thing I love so much about this show didn't start with this show (Julie Taymor and Sally Potter, Antoinette and of course Cruel Intentions, which pretty much invented the genre) and God willing won't end there, and thirdly there's, well, I don't know if you remember what happened to Marie Antoinette, but it was not that awesome for her personally, and if this show and Age Of Innocence have anything in common, it's the overhanging fear that this has all happened before and it will all happen again and eventually the revolution will come down and Serena's going to pay for being rich just like Dan always wanted: with her blood.)

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Gossip Girl




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