HOTEL

Blair: "I think the desk clerk recognized me!"
Dan: "Yeah, you were being a bitch to him, so that could explain the look in his eyes."
Blair: "I was going to be a princess! And instead now I'm in this hotel with your scummy ass!"
Dan: "Blair, please stop being mean to me."
Blair: "No! Thank you for nothing!"
Dan: "I'm going to ask you one more time to chill. Even though I like nothing less than being with an unstable girl, prodding her into extreme heights of insecurity and drama, so I can feel like the hero."
Blair: "My wedding is ruined!"
Dan: "Feel this chemistry! It is electric!"
Blair: "Get out!"

It's all very snappy and Hepburn/Bogart.

Blair: "Why are you yelling at me on my big day?"
Dan: "Uh, when my book was released you ripped into my asshole for no reason and then didn't even read the book."
Blair: "Oh, I read the book. You gross masturbator."
Dan: "I don't feel like you are a very good friend."
Blair: "Well look who just fuckin' showed up to that conversation."
Dan: "I'm going to go. It's become even more unrealistic than usual that anyone could possibly care about you in any way."
Blair: "Good! Thanks for all your help this whole time, you unmitigated pussy!"

Knock-knock.

Blair: "That's not a Dorota knock. She's a stickler for 'Shave & A Haircut.' Any cliché, really, Dorota's down. She's a simple soul."

PRADA

Lily & Eleanor: "This mystery of Blair's whereabouts makes me wonder if she's lost her shit. Again. Or still."
Rufus: "Mmmmmmahhh! Fine, she's at a hotel with Dan. I've known the whole time. Not telling you was really hard! Because of my self-righteousness!"
Eleanor: "Oh whatever. It's not like anybody expects better of you. But what you don't know is that there are financial consequences in play."
Lily: "Oh shit, girl. Now I'm listening."

HOTEL

Serena & Chuck: "You're in a hotel room with Dan Humphrey? How unforeseen!"
Blair & Dan: "Yeah, it's been no good. We're both kind of at our worst. And best."

Serena & Dan: "Wait, why did you lie to me about where you were and what you were up to?"
Dan & Serena: "It's because I don't like her having a relationship with you. It makes everything weird."