Conclusion: Write drunk, edit sober, don't ever do coke when you're working.
Serena: "Chuck, have you seen Blair and why are you even here?"
Chuck: "No, but have you looked everywhere? Even the roof?"
Serena: "Yeah, because of that movie The Hangover that came out when we were in high school. I also climbed through an air duct."
Chuck: "Well, while you were doing that I was just lurking. Oh, a voicemail from the Empire. Seems Blair has turned up there, just as I always knew she would."
Serena: "I have her phone for some reason. And a video camera. Turns out a whole slew of technology will fit in my giant purse. I think maybe I have a problem with stealing things that don't belong to me."
Dan: "Huh? Oh sorry. Wasn't listening."
Lola: "Oh my God, are you stalking me?"
Nate: "I have fallen in love with you for literally no reason. Let me help you with the cleanup of this huge wedding and reception for which you are solely responsible."
Chuck: "Are you seriously still trying to sleep with this random girl? Doing manual labor, at that?"
Nate: "I got so stoned before Blair's wedding that I started freaking out and I figured I should just dedicate myself to a task."
Serena: "We just came down to the loading docks for no reason. But since we're here, I might as well tell you Blair is at the Empire and we're going there."
Lola: "Well, the streets are filled with paparazzi, so it might be hard to get there."
Serena: "No, they aren't. We keep cutting to the exterior of this hotel and there's nobody there."
Lola: "They are invisible. Those new wolves-on-motorcycles paparazzi. But luckily I know a shortcut for caterers."
Serena: "Chuck, knock this random girl out and we'll use her van to get to your hotel."
Lola: "I will happily drive you, because you people are insane and I want to see what happens next."
Serena: "Thanks, random girl."
Nate: "I will come along, and later on we will do it."
THIS ONE HALLWAY
Sophie: "What's it like on the other end of this one short hallway?"
Louis: "Pretty much like it is where you're standing. Let's talk on the phone about it for a long time even though you're like five yards away and we might as well be doing semaphore based on how obvious we're being."
Sophie: "Hey, have you seen your wife? I noticed she's not in this hallway with us."
Louis: "Well, I may have threatened her at the very beginning of the reception for no real reason except to be creepy. I guess maybe she ran off."
Sophie: "Probably we should find her. I'm going to go bother Eleanor."