Gossip Girl
The Backup Dan

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Runaway Snide

Sophie: "I am also here! You're not going to any Republic, Dominican or otherwise!"
Blair: "What's this now. Today is the worst."
Sophie: "If you don't stay married to my son for a year, I will send your mother to the poorhouse! I'm talking about a dowry!"
Chuck: "What an antiquated notion!"
Sophie: "Oh, I just meant the prenup."
Chuck: "The prenup? You mean one of those legal agreements that's invalidated by an annulment?"
Blair: "Chuck, stop helping. I can make my life hell for no reason without your 'logic' and 'common sense.'"


Dan: "I got as far as this hotel bar before I pussed out."
Serena: "I can see that. Well, fuck you."
Dan: "Serena, I ran off with Blair and lied to you about it for one simple reason. I don't give a shit about you. This story is not about you. This has nothing to do with you."
Serena: "I see your point. And yet, I can't help feeling like this is about me."
Dan: "Why are you like this?"
Serena: "I guess that's your answer, then."
Dan: "...To what?"


Blair: "Sorry I assumed you sent that video, even though you clearly did not."
Chuck: "It's okay. So how about I pay off this dowry right now?"
Blair: "No, Chuck. That can never happen."
Chuck: "But I've got loads of money and your mother will go to the poorhouse."
Blair: "Don't you see? It's just like that time you didn't sell me for a hotel."

Chuck: "Okay but seriously. It's like, If your banked fucked up and your card got declined, you'd let me get dinner, right? That wouldn't be prostitution? This is just like that. Me helping you out of a jam with my infinite funds."
Blair: "No, because I still want to be with you. And this way, I could. And that, obviously, cannot happen."

Chuck: "I don't care what it costs, or where we have to go or whatever. I just love you."
Blair: "Louis won't lay a hand on me, I promise."
Chuck: "That... I didn't say anything about that. How did you get there?"
Blair: "I was just thinking about all the many horrible things you never actually did on this show, and that was the next thing. On the list of stuff that never happened."
Chuck: "Gotcha."
Blair: "I might also have said, 'Louis won't rape me on a rooftop,' for example."
Chuck: "No, I said gotcha."

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