Sophie: "Yeah, I'm out. You're forcing me to use other methods."
Rufus: "Oh yeah? Like what."
Sophie: "Like going to the media! By embarrassing my son with the news that his bride has disappeared, I will save him from the embarrassment of the media finding out that his bride has disappeared!"
Rufus: "Sounds like a plan."
Eleanor: "Sounds like a Rufus Plan."
Lily: "Kinda sounds like a Serena Plan, actually."
Nate: "Now that the people this show is actually about are gone, can I offer you a martini?"
Lola: "Nate, I'm a blue-collar kinda gal. I like my beer cold and my dudes semi-gay."
Nate: "This is your lucky night, little fella."
Lola: "Okay but first I have to take this call from my employer in the middle of the night. I'm the only employee, so it's a pretty on-call situation."
Nate: "Cool, I'll go get you a beer from a foot away."
Lola: "Aunt Carol? This is your daughter, lying to you."
Nate, from a foot away: "Oh my God, she's a liar."
Lola: "Just my boss, like I was saying. I should probably be working, for I am so poor and blue-collar, but hey. So about that beer?"
Nate: "Get the fuck out, liar. I'm taking away your beer. Beer is for truthers, not liars."
Lola: "Okay, I guess I'll go deliver those centerpieces in the middle of the night then."
CNN: "Princess Blair Waldorf has lost her fucking mind! Nothing she does makes any sense and it's kind of insulting! It's been going on since last season, but her idiot husband has finally noticed. We go live, to him speaking incomprehensibly."
CNN: "If you know where Blair is, rat her out!"
Everybody: Immediately starts taking pictures of them while they have a long conversation and leave the airport in full view of everyone on Earth.
Dan: "So wait, I thought they wanted to avoid embarrassment. That was the crux of this episode."
Blair: "No, that is no longer it. Don't say it's a plot-hole when it's not a plot-hole! This way, they can spin it so I look crazy..."
Dan: "-- That's not embarrassing?"
Blair: "-- And then when they find me, they can stop me from getting a divorce! It's the perfect plan!"
Dan: "But how does that make any..."
Blair: "-- Humphrey! Instead of leaving New York, let's go back into the city and get a hotel room. Nobody will think to look for us there! Exactly where we just came from!"