Part of the mystique is that you have to wear a mask the whole time you're in there, which I guess means this is serving as our annual Masked Ball episode. Last year's was so fucking fantastic there wasn't really a way to top it, so why try, but it does give me a little nostalgic feeling for Jenny Humphrey. Blair goes into the show with the Aces group, having brought a deck of cards that would serve her for any boarding group involving Chuck, and Dorota (in a "clever" "costume") yanks somebody else's card so she can follow B, following Chuck.

Nate: "Thanks for the invite! If you're worried about getting in trouble at work, Diana's off to Paris, and we will be wearing masks."
Ivy: "You know, I'm just a little anxious about the performance. It's dark in there, and crowded, and I am insane."

Diana, at the bar: "Good show so far."
Ivy: "Just tell me your plan. This is so weird and so obviously intended to stretch the episode out with our boring conversations over and over about the same dumb love triangle."
Diana: "I planned just to catch you two together here, making Nate feel so guilty he came running back to apologize, but something better struck me."
Ivy: "So when I said, 'Tell me your plan,' I didn't actually mean, 'Tell me some other plans that no longer signify.'"

Ivy & Nate: Are Deuces. Aww.

Max: "Diana, thanks for the tickets! I ain't never seen a play before. Is Serena here yet?"
Diana: "Thank God you just missed Ivy one second ago. You turn up real fucking conveniently on schedule, don't you. Listen, Serena was an Ace or a Deuce, she's already in there, she's wearing a gold dress. Just kidding, Ivy is wearing the gold dress and Serena isn't here yet. I have so many plans!"

Dorota & Blair: (Disagree on the authenticity of Chuck's redemption. Some more.)

Serena: "Diana, thanks for the tickets! Max has never been in a building with indoor plumbing before. Have you seen him?"
Diana: "Yeah, he's in there wearing a beautiful gold dress or something. So many plans."
Serena, verbatim: "Maybe I should go look for him."
Diana, verbatim: "Women like us don't do things like that. Just wait here. I'm sure he's just running behind."

...What? Women like us don't... Find our dates at a crowded social event? Women like us aren't responsible for our punctuality? Women like us don't own cell phones, more like.