Blair: "Of course you knew it was me. Was it my perfume?"
Chuck: "I should get back to the performance."
Blair: "You can't disrupt the drama! Looks like we're stuck. Together... Alone... Amongst the masked and anonymous. Do you remember when we used to play dress-up? At least I know I'm safe, locked in here with the new Chuck Bass, who has none of his old urges. I have to admit, I had a hard time believing you at first, but now I see. The therapy, the apology -- you really have changed. As warm as it's getting in here, I can sweep the hair from the nape of my neck without setting you off. It's such a relief to be able to let my guard down."

It's in the acting. I mean, you can imagine how Meester would do these lines, and it's sort of breathtakingly gross, in a Season One kind of way. Not as good as Victrola, but not in a dumb way: It's like she pulled Victrola out of an old shoebox and it was rotting and kind of smelly and she's holding it out to him like, "Tasty, yes?" Begging him to take a bite.

Oh, never resist an impulse, Sabrina. Especially if it's terrible.

Wasn't Chuck implicated in the Carter thing with Blair? That two-episode stint she did as a coke slut or whatever it was, wasn't that Chuck's idea to make her gross again? It was awesome, and this is awesome too. Sad, and more than a little scary, but awesome. Well done.

"No one is looking. Even the new Chuck Bass must still have some of his darkest desires. Just a taste..."

ELSEWHERE

Diana, verbatim: "Are you ready, Charlie? There's Nate. Go kiss him."

Seriously, that's her master plan. She tells Ivy to go kiss this guy, so she does, and they have to awkwardly take off their masks with eyes closed in order to not figure out that she's not Serena and he's not Nate, in this rushed passionate thing that makes no sense anyway. But it's like, if you were Ivy wouldn't you ask some follow-up questions?

I mean, maybe there's something interesting down the line, how Ivy and Serena keep switching places, and now not-Serena and not-Nate are kissing each other as though they were -- which is how the Masked Ball episode always does stuff -- but stick a pin in that because who knows.

Meantime, Diana Payne literally just zoomed Ivy at Max like a toy car, and she went for it. And now they are both recognizing each other and feeling super weird, so she drags Max off-stage, except it's Sleep No More so there is no off-stage, just more and more and more drama. And since it's Diana, that drama really needn't make any sense at all. Luckily, it will not.