Gossip Girl
The Big Sleep No More

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: D | Grade It Now!
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When The Hurley-Burley's Done

Dorota: "[Broken English.]"
Blair: "I have decided that Chuck's apology was bunkum, because the alternative is that he has really changed, and since we've done that storyline six times it must be something else. If this were the good old days, he would be doing this just to fuck with me."
Dorota: "So that what we sticking with?"
Blair: "Indeed, Dorota."
Dorota: "It seemed fairly authentic to me. Rushed and unearned and randomly shoehorned into the end of the episode after a wild detour where he was hypnotized into performing unspeakable acts, but something we're supposed to take seriously."
Blair: "No, I'm fairly sure this is all about me. We're going to the duckpond, fatty."

EMPIRE

Nate: "Walk of shame! Were you fucking Cirque de Soleil again?"
Chuck: "No, I was home drinking tea and cutting out pictures of kittens for decoupage, and then went out early for a charity meeting about charity."
Nate: "Charity, what's that? Like when I was homeless?"
Chuck: "If I keep busy doing good, then there's less of a chance I'll find myself in a situation which triggers old habits. Being so frigging good is really tough. And boring."
Nate: "Let's talk about me now."
Chuck: "Apprise me of the status of your fake relationship with Elizabeth Hurley."
Nate: "Sometimes it's like this, sometimes it's like this."

PRADA

Rufus & Lily: Manage to Skype.
Dan: "I am so tired of book touring! Nashua, Burlington, all the hot spots. I met some Classics students at Bennington that killed a farmer. We are a nation of not-so-much readers. I got bumped for Snooki and I'm thinking of going to college."
Rufus & Lily: "Dan, you just ride this bubble. If Daddy's history tells you anything it's that fame is fleeting when you're basically untalented and willing to whore out."
Dan: "I am not really on my book tour. I am in DUMBO lying to everybody and feeling sorry for myself instead of doing the necessary work of marketing. I am the worst."
Rufus & Lily: "Charlie and Serena! Would you like to Skype on this Skype machine?"
Serena: "You tell Dan Humphrey to suck a load of asses."

Charlie, boarding elevator: "That was ugly."
Serena: "Yeah, welcome to our entire relationship."
Rufus & Lily, verbatim: "Bring us back some real maple syrup!"

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Gossip Girl

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