Gossip Girl
The Big Sleep No More

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: D | Grade It Now!
When The Hurley-Burley's Done

Nate: "Hey, Charlie..."
Ivy: "[See previous scene for literally this same conversation.]"


Lily & Rufus: "Let's drive to Boston to find our son!"
Pilot Inspektor: "Oh, thank God. I was about to kill myself."
Lily & Rufus: "Just kidding! We meant Dan."


Ivy: "Why are you following me?"
Nate, verbatim: "Come on. You're a Rhodes. If you had a boyfriend, the whole Upper East Side would know about it."
Ivy: "Sure, except I would never be on Gossip Girl because I am hiding under a stolen identity, so that makes no sense whatsoever. If this show is saying that I am a regular fixture on Gossip Girl, that is beyond stupid."
Nate: "That's what they're saying."
Ivy: "What about how you're dating Diana or not?"
Nate: "She said something about Paris, I don't know. I just want to make out with ladies."


Max: "I ain't never seen a real live restaurant inside a boutique before! Are we gonna eat clothes?"
Serena: "No, I'm just ruining your life."

Max: "I am relying on you to be my official guide to getting around Manhattan."
Serena: "That was your second goddamn mistake. I'm feeling kind of guilty right now. You should get out of my warp zone area if you want to make your interview."
Max: "Thanks for the weirdest, most pointless afternoon -- and all your insider knowledge like how Boulud likes apricots. As a chef about to interview with him, I couldn't possibly have known that."

Nate: "Charlie, we kissed one time!"
Ivy: "You are getting on my nerves!"
Max: Goes walking by. Small world, UES!
Ivy: Has to kiss Nate suddenly because... Whatever.


Diana: "Nate Archibald's Cougar & Her Cub In Pride War? Are you purposely trying to make a fool of me?"

Ivy: "Nobody has to 'purposely' do that. You act like you're working a boat show. In every scene. You have no agenda we can understand, you're obsessed with multiple teenagers, you are the worst boss of all time, your business model makes no sense and Serena has you fooled into thinking she can read. Your sole employees are two of the most ineffective, incompetent teenage hustlers ever captured on film, and our only duties seem to be pressing 'publish' on WordPress and delivering a constant flood of giftbags. You fired everybody in your entire office to fuck a child, and then threatened to drop a nuclear bomb on Manhattan's scandalous fourth estate. You are a running a newspaper that is really a magazine which is seems to actually just be an app. For which there is no demand whatsoever."

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Gossip Girl




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