Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!

Nate answers the phone all happy, like "Jenny! What's up, bro?!" I love it, I love Nate. She immediately starts in on him about how she's in a fucking place and made a terrible mistake and doesn't have anywhere to go, and needs some money. I have to say in this scene that they are both good actors, I like them both in this scene a lot. Nate just keeps asking WTF and if she's okay, and she just keeps demanding money -- right there in the middle of the consignment shop! -- and he finally gets her to tell him how much. Eight grand. It's a big enough number that Nate gets scared, like physically scared, because that's usually to do with drugs or broken kneecaps. Which, I wouldn't put either of those things past Betty. I hope Betty sticks around. She's hardcore. Nate asks why she needs it, which Jenny can't tell him because it involves telling Nate Archibald how she totally stole a dress from somebody's house, and so she apologizes for bothering him and hangs up. She takes the Valentino back to a dressing room, pulls it up around her torso to hide the hem, and buttons her coat over it. "The price of fitting in might have gotten a little steeper, but Little J still knows it's what's underneath that counts!" Gossip Girl, how we have missed you.

Chez Bass, Lily's inspecting a huge red and lavender flower arrangement, spitting nastily, "Well, we could put this one on a Mylar tablecloth, and pretend it's a bar mitzvah..." (Is it possible that if we mention ten Jewish things a week, nobody will notice the total lack of actual Jews on the show?) Serena's out the door, but Lily pulls her back, worried she's acting out because of the impending wedding, having heard about the mysterious champagne. S laughs and rolls her eyes, because she's at least as tired of this whole rep thing as Chuck is (today). I love that they're all in this backwards footrace to not be the black sheep of the three of the kids, that's so real and sad. "Right, Mom. I actually woke up this morning and I thought, hmm, I'm a little uncertain about my mother's wedding. Why don't I invite the entire junior class out to the courtyard for a champagne toast?" Lily points out that Serena Who? used to do that shit all the time, and S whines that Chuck's master plan to make her look deranged is working, to Lily's complete disbelief. "Looking good to everyone in my life isn't enough for him, he has to make me look bad. Or crazy." Bart enters just as Lily admits that Chuck's eccentric, but hardly diabolical, and Bart's like, "What now?" S looks at her mother with a challenge, and Lily gives this great eyebrow move like, "This is all too much for me." Serena stands up, all seven foot six of her, to tell Bart exactly what's going on.

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Gossip Girl




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