The three kids hit the breakfast table, where Bart is reading The Observer and Lily is looking totally wonderful as always. Chuck lays on the charm pretty thickly, kissing Lily's hand, although he does call her "Lily von Bulow," which is not the most charming reference you can think of, but Lily lets it go because she adores Chuck. Enjoying her new Ladies That Lunch persona to the hilt, Lily absently complains about how frustrating the wedding planner is being, and Chuck says that aggravation becomes her, and Lily grins, and Serena nearly barfs. Lily points out that Serena has chosen not to shower today, and Chuck grins. S snags like a grape and heads off to meet Blair; Chuck tells Eric they can take the limo. After Serena leaves, there's a beat in which Bart wonders what his evil son is up to now, and then blows Chuck's mind. "As my best man, I expect you to keep things smooth until the wedding." Lily is so happy! Chuck stammers a bit and then offers an OJ toast, to "family."
DUMBO, where Dan is just back from visiting his horrible mother upstate, looking for Jenny and eating breakfast. Rufus explains that she slept at Hazel's with the other girls, and further explains that it was Hazel's family that took them all to Aspen. Dan suggests a certain surprise in letting Jenny cancel on their mom like that, but Rufus explains that both parents agreed that it was a good idea, because both parents have realized that Jenny is going completely crazy, and want her on their side, so they're both overcompensating to see who can be the best parent. Dan, who is not wrong in assuming that out of the three of them he would win that award, doesn't say anything, but you know what he's thinking. As does Rufus, who tells him that the very second Dan's done with his "I'd do things differently" look -- which: yeah, Rufus, it should be any decade now -- he would do well to find out what Jenny wants to do for her actual birthday. Dan promises to get it out of her, and heads off to ... school, I guess. Possibly. Or to somewhere it's nighttime and they're having dinner, or breakfast even though it's nighttime, or where it's suddenly the weekend.
Blair is freaking out on the way to school, and the way she is dealing with this is apparently to be dressed like a crazy Victorian or womb lady from The Handmaid's Tale or something, with giant sunglasses and a head scarf and a balloony dress that looks like Missy Elliott in the "I Can't Stand The Rain" video, which premiered on MTV before Blair was like born, and Serena's trying to distract her with whines of living with the Basses and whatever gossip will calm her down. "Thank God I have plans with Dan tonight. Finally, the return of some normalcy!" B stops in the middle of the sidewalk, freaking out again, and alerting Serena to the fact that she is suddenly "giving home-schooling some serious consideration." S laughs and says it's only natural to assume that everybody's still talking about her scandal from three weeks ago, but in fact other things have happened in the world. "Who would I have heard it from? Dorota?" S explains that after much concerted effort Maya finally made it into Brody Jenner's cell phone, Kati's dad moved the whole family back to Israel, and S has moved in with Chuck Bass. All of which is more interesting than B's fall from grace. B allows herself to hope that her trouble might have blown over, and S demands both the shades and the scarf. Unfortunately, Blair is still dressed like a lunatic, just now she's a more easily recognizable lunatic.