Nate's sitting in Vanessa's Rufus coffee shop, ignoring her and taking texts from Catherine demanding his presence, and Vanessa gets all depressing and flirty trying to distract him, and just as they're about to go for Round 19 of the same goddamn conversation, Blair enters and everybody watching sits up a little straighter. "What an unusual little space! Half gallery, half boho coffee shop. But then unusual pairings seem to be the order of the day..." Unusual pairing exhibit N/V stares up at her hatefully, and N asks what she's doing there. Awesomely breezy, she grins down with wide, innocent eyes: "Being angry at you, for one! Here I thought I'd surprise you by bringing Vanessa to tonight's party, when lo and behold, you two have rekindled your love in secret!" (Total Blair plan! Throw everybody into a room, stir some shit up, watch fireworks. She'd do this even if she and Catherine weren't in a détente, just because it's awesome. I forgot how much I missed Scheme-y B.) "You came all the way to Brooklyn to invite me to a party for a school that I don't even go to?" Lest V think B would ever do her a goddamn favor in her life, Blair explains precisely that it was only as a favor for Nate, whose mother has apparently come down with a migraine. "When I thought of you coming all alone, I just wanted to do something nice. Is that so hard to believe?" As one, both Nate and Vanessa note that actually yes, it is hard to believe. And good on her. I wouldn't want Vanessa in my house either, going through my things like she does.

Vanessa excuses herself to accept a delivery and Nate whispers, "Blair, what are you really doing here? You can't stand Vanessa, and you've never done anything when something wasn't in it for you." Blair says she's not even having it, this whole MILF affair, and Nate asks if that means she's planning on distracting him with Vanessa. She says yes, but it's a total lie, and Nate at least knows that much: "It's just, as your plans go? It's kinda nice." Blair reminds him not to be offensive, and adds that if he's interested in holding onto Vanessa, he's going to have to "step it up." I love that Nate is so ineffectual that "stepping it up" in this case basically means "be in the same location, at the same time, for some finite amount of minutes." B's voice rises to its normal commanding pitch as Vanessa returns: "So I can look forward to seeing you tonight?" Nate agrees, and shakes off Vanessa's kind of pathetic joy at being allowed to accompany him to a party in a particularly gay way. B leaves and Nate makes a truly hilarious, resigned Fuck It face. Down on the street, B hollas at her Duchess: "It's me. He's bringing her. And for the record, whatever you're planning with Nate, my bedroom floor is off-limits."