God forbid he answer this question, because honestly even contemplating it would split a six-inch valley through the middle of his skull, so misplaced are his priorities, so he falls on his fucking face instead. As usual. And as usual, Serena jumps to his side, as she would with any human being, especially those she cares about, and -- high on worry -- verbally forgives him for the Georgina thing. "And I forgive you," he says. As though there's anything to forgive her for. "Oh, I'm so sorry that you spent our entire relationship building a case against me so that when I actually needed a friend much less a boyfriend I knew you'd shit all over me, so I avoided you while I dealt with it, and you immediately responded by sticking your dick wherever it could go. Sorry about that! I'm such a bitch!" They talk about how Dan keeps forcing this same fight in every episode, and finally Serena's like, "I can't change who I am, Dan."
And I bet you a shiny new dollar you won't believe his response: "Me neither!"
Which I totally believe. "Look, I have a life and a history and they're both completely separate from you, but I'm sorry that due to them being historical facts I can't do anything about it." And the response? "I also have things I can't change about myself, such as the fact that I fucking hate you and I'm jealous of your lifestyle, because it seems easy to me in every way compared to my life which I make as difficult as possible by being an asshole, but I can't get far enough to compare because 1) I haven't been paying attention to anything you ever said and 2) I wouldn't actually care if I did, because I will always be more interested in feeling like a victim and like I'm superior, which to me are the same thing as winning."
And you know what, as I've said before: It's not that I hate Dan for these things, it's that it makes Serena impossible to love because she accepts these "accusations," when the proper response is, "Call me in two or three years when you grow the fuck up and stop hating people for having things, because that is not my fault. I'm the one stretching here, and you burn me every time I do." I want Serena to fuck him up because I love this show and I want my daughter one day to watch this show and understand how it works, and there is simply not enough of Serena figuring out that half of Dan's shtick is bullshit, which is actually what makes it difficult, because the rest of him honestly is super great.
But I have never met a teenage girl who needed this story told to her, because the world is telling her this story every day: give in so he'll like you, stop being angry because this is the way it's done, stop wondering why your stupider male cohorts have inherited the world, stop being smart because that's not called for, stop demanding more than some piddling high school idiot boy can offer because he's locked in his own bullshit world that he won't begin to figure out until after college. Just take the high road and the weak road and the quiet road and tell yourself you're the winner, because that's as good as it gets. Because it's not wrong: Until we stop telling them that, it stays true, and we keep repeating it to our daughters, and they follow those breadcrumbs because they're all we've given them.