Gossip Girl

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You Be Him + I'll Be Her
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

One thing you should never do is listen to the Raveonettes on Long Island when you're having a fight and driving in the rain. My Grandmother taught me that: "Never go to bed mad, and don't ever think that Everything But means he's not cheating. That only means he's cheating more." You should especially not do this when roving bands of wolves are holding their biannual tea party in the puddled roads, because you're going to miss something important and end up with a concussion.

So it's twelve hours in our future and Serena is ever so disappointed in Congressman Trip for something we don't know about, but can probably guess, and she wants to listen to this song on the Land Rover HD radio and he's like, "My nerves" and she's like, "Fuck you" and then the wolves pop up. The song is about a "little runaway girl" from New York (all the songs this week are about New York) who thinks about suicide for not really any good reasons, spontaneously realizes quote "fuck suicide," and then goes back to being awesome. I don't know why the Raveonettes are the go-to band for Serena's ill-fated relations with Trip except that they are really old, like him.

In this scene, it illustrates that Serena knows damn well what she's doing and that they both realized their relationship is a terrible mistake the very second they didn't have sexy obstructions like marriage and political machinations in the way, which provides a nice parallel to the beginning of the season when B had convinced herself she could only get it up if Chuck was about to make out with fellas or ladies. You may remember that S told her this was dumb and creepy at the time, so of course it's no wonder that S is now going through the same thing now under a Three Wolf Moon.

Car crash! And then it's twelve hours ago, meaning now, and Blair is flouncing about the Empire penthouse in a crazy shirt made crazier by the black-and-white houndstooth pattern that is so giant it is clearly actually a joke about houndstooth. She's got breakfast in bed ready for Chuck, whom she assumes is going to stay in bed because of how it was exactly one year ago today that he caused his father's death by alerting him to Lily's unwitting/disgraceful recapitulation of Anna Karenina, causing his limo to crash out of some kind of quantum science.

Charlie doesn't want any tea or sympathy or breakfast, because today is a day like any other. In fact, he's going to celebrate Bart's memory by kicking a bunch of homeless out of a shelter on the LES, kind of like how Anakin killed all those little kids to prove to the Emperor that he was bad-ass and had no feelings. He needs to get in an Empire state of mind, because if the feelings are going to kill him, today's the day.

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Gossip Girl

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