Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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You Be Him + I'll Be Her

Real love doesn't make you act crazy. The reason we act crazy when we are infatuated is because we want it to be real so badly -- we want to jump over the distance of time that makes real love what it is. Serena wanted to catapult herself into the future, and Trip wanted so badly to believe that he wasn't a congressional cliché. That's the trick of romance: The crazy infatuation love is so much brighter and turns so many more corners so quickly. Much more exciting than the real thing. But real love, at its finest, makes you feel like you are bursting open, like this: Like hearing a beautiful song, or reading a beautiful poem, or hearing a wonderful story, and the tears come and you don't know precisely why. It doesn't hurt; it hurts in a way that isn't hurting, that we don't have a word for. Largeness. Enormity. It takes a real strength, a real grace, to stand up straight in the face of that. Especially if you're not familiar with it.

Blair takes his hand, slowly. Carefully. He is a wild beast. "Come. Let's say goodbye." She stands, and he follows awkwardly, and sniffs, and accepts the gift. He leans on her, and he is very beautiful. They pulled a sheet over Bart's head, and he was gone. And that hospital room became just another hospital room. Even today. He breathes in, so hard, and holds onto her as they make their way back to the family. And into her hair, Chuck Bass whispers his thanks.

Eric slams his fists against a vending machine and Jenny nervously offers him coffee and he snaps at her and she gets all prissy about "I was just offering," and he snips at her that he was "just" declining, and then simultaneously they both ask for a détente, and immediately debrief about the YSL purse thing. "I'm assuming you set Sawyer [Sawyer!] up with that bag," she says, and then it turned out that he overheard a call Jenny made, but she knew he was listening, so she already had bags in hand for Jane and Carmen [Jane and Carmen!] when Eric and Kira moved to Phase II. Which, they congratulate themselves on being so clever and Machiavellian and she gives a cute ankledip and then throws her arms across his shoulder, to go look for tacky Get Well Soon crap they can buy for Serena with her drug pusher money.

Rufus, having finally found or not found Serena's "health insurance papers," is on his way out of PRADA when Maureen appears -- time and space apply to Maureen van der Bilt even less than the rest of these people, she's constantly teleporting and timewarping all over the damn place, it's awesome -- and hands over THE LETTER. Why, I can't say. I guess because now that she and her husband have conspired to cripple her there's no need to keep Serena in the loop of her machinations. (That's sort of the soap apex. Like, even on Passions it was always leading up to the paralysis and once you were in a wheelchair they'd leave you alone for a month or two. Melrose Place, slightly different story in that you might end up blind and in a wheelchair, but in that case they'd do the sensible thing: Toss you in the ocean and watch you float out to sea.)

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Gossip Girl

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