AT THE BAR

Dan comes up to Chuck and it's amazing because thankfully, Chuck isn't buying what Dan and Serena are sloppily, weirdly trying to sell.

Dan: "Hey listen, I'm sorry I couldn't tell you about Serena and me, but we didn't want our families to know, and you're kind of like her brother..."
Chuck: "Uh, so are you."
Dan: "Well, I didn't do it to upset you..."
Chuck: "Humphrey, I don't care about you or our blonde pseudo-sibling. Your relationship with Serena may explain the sneaking around, but it does not make sense of the fact Blair cut me out of her life. I think you know why, and when I find out what secret you've been keeping, and why, you will pay."
Dan: "That is probably how it will go down. Unless I also get tuberculosis and die first."

Dan: "Smooth move with the lie that makes zero sense, sis."
Serena: "Yeah, it's a real sacrifice for me too."
Somebody Stupid, I think Louis: "Dan and Serena, you have to kiss at midnight!"
Serena: "Well, I guess we have to kiss each other now. What drudgery! I just wish I could have thought of a better way to save Blair and enable her craziness in a way I'm not benefitting from."

They kiss.

Serena: "Wow, that was..."
Dan: "-- Totally platonic, like we really are brother and sister?"
Serena: "...Oh my God, that's exactly what I was going to say. How weird! I certainly wasn't going to say anything else other than that. Maybe we have a psychic twin connection! Because yeah, that wasn't a turn-on at all. Boy howdy."

MORE FACTS

Per the car service, it was Blair who ordered the car, so Nate at first thinks they need to figure out who knew she'd be going in it, but there's more to it that we'll deal with right after Serena -- even though it's past midnight -- wanders through the scene still making her List of Most Things. How long is this freaking list? Most Sloppy Sandwich: The Sloppy Duck Sandwich, at the Dutch. Most Colory Color: Pink. Most Necklaces Ever Worn At One Time: Serena, whenever she's hanging out blogging. You know, just hangin' out, bloggin' in my necklaces.