Nate: "Serena, have you changed your mind about turning into Gossip Girl?"
Serena: "In a small way, the events of this episode actually made a damned bit of difference to me, because they reflected on my own life. You see, it's not the secrets that cause the problems, but the assumptions that people make about them."
Nate: "I still don't know what you are talking about."
Serena: "I am going to go through all the emails and see if there's a positive way for me to use what's in them."
Nate: "So you're the new Gossip Girl. Like I've been saying this whole time."
Serena: "I guess so. I prefer to think of myself as the new Gwyneth Paltrow."

You and me both, honey.

Lily: "Well, I'm sorry that I spoiled our New Year's celebration by stalking innocent students."
Rufus: "That's what we already are always doing. That is literally my role on this show. Once we cured your pretend cancer it's just been this. Lurking, stalking, whining about things, sneaking around. I miss Charlie too. But I can't say I didn't hate the little bitch for distracting you from me and paying attention to me while I do banal, self-absorbed things."
Lily: "You're right. Whatever happens to the mentally ill girl we agreed to take into our home, that vanished suddenly and without warning, it's not really our business."
Rufus: "Let's sing more karaoke and be alone together and never leave this apartment and die here alone, singing karaoke."
Lily: "I feel like that is already happening."

EMPIRE

Chuck: "Blair, thank God you came to my apartment like you do at the end of every episode and I always think you're going to say you're leaving Louis and then you never do. I'm sure this time I'll get what I want!"
Blair: "I just came by to say that I hope you don't turn evil. This insincere, paint-by-numbers storyline about your spiritual rehabilitation has turned out to be one of the paradoxically most touching of the season, and I'd hate to see that reversed in the same way it always is."
Chuck: "What I hear you saying is that Uncle Jack is probably coming back into the picture."
Blair: "Just stay Good, in the goofy childish White Hat way this show now defines that concept."
Chuck: "I mean like could you maybe give me a hint as to why you broke up with me and won't talk to me or look at me?"
Blair: "I am far too motherfucking crazy to do that. Adieu."