Chuck: "Hey, Daniel. We just time-traveled here from Manhattan to ask if you've seen Blair at odd hours going back for weeks and keeping it a secret."
Dan: "Hey guys. Good thing I'm twitchy and sketchy all the time, or it would look like you're onto me."
Chuck & Louis: "Hey, would you mind spying on Blair for us?"
Dan: "I would never."
Dan: "Okay, I'll do it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have sneaky darting looks and shifty eyes to do everywhere."
Chuck & Louis: "Okay, well, it was nice seeing you."
They leave. Blair is standing in Dan's room looking cray-cray.
Blair: "Dan, they must never know about our secret arrangement they have already figured out."
Dan: "Somehow this is going to end up sexless and ridiculous, I can feel it."
Dan: "Oh hi Serena. I'm not doing anything sneaky with your friend Blair."
Serena: "I didn't ask. I am too busy trying to remember how to form words so that I can write my blog for Nate's internet periodical media concern."
Dan: "Okay, I just wanted you to know that I'm not here looking for Blair so we can go on one of our mysterious secret journeys."
Serena: "Okay, I guess I should notify you in turn that I am Serena van der Woodsen and I don't give much of a damn about anybody else or what they are up to."
Dan: "Glad we had this talk."
Nate: "What's this one doing here? I am still mad that he made me half a gay."
Dan: "That's so weird that the one thing that has actually penetrated your short-term memory problems is the most inconsequential thing of all time."
Nate: "Serena, let's go do media things. What's this guy doing here? I'm still mad at him."
Serena: "Just a second, I am finishing this blog. It's funny you mentioned Blair, because she is currently having a fitting at Vera Wang for her wedding dress."
Dan: "I will not act on that information. Nate, when will you stop being mad at me?"
Nate: "What the hell are you doing here?"
Dan: "Not hanging out with Blair in secret, I'll have you know."