Dan: "Smooth move with the lie that makes zero sense, sis."
Serena: "Yeah, it's a real sacrifice for me too."
Somebody Stupid, I think Louis: "Dan and Serena, you have to kiss at midnight!"
Serena: "Well, I guess we have to kiss each other now. What drudgery! I just wish I could have thought of a better way to save Blair and enable her craziness in a way I'm not benefitting from."
Serena: "Wow, that was..."
Dan: "-- Totally platonic, like we really are brother and sister?"
Serena: "...Oh my God, that's exactly what I was going to say. How weird! I certainly wasn't going to say anything else other than that. Maybe we have a psychic twin connection! Because yeah, that wasn't a turn-on at all. Boy howdy."
Per the car service, it was Blair who ordered the car, so Nate at first thinks they need to figure out who knew she'd be going in it, but there's more to it that we'll deal with right after Serena -- even though it's past midnight -- wanders through the scene still making her List of Most Things. How long is this freaking list? Most Sloppy Sandwich: The Sloppy Duck Sandwich, at the Dutch. Most Colory Color: Pink. Most Necklaces Ever Worn At One Time: Serena, whenever she's hanging out blogging. You know, just hangin' out, bloggin' in my necklaces.
Nate: "Serena, have you changed your mind about turning into Gossip Girl?"
Serena: "In a small way, the events of this episode actually made a damned bit of difference to me, because they reflected on my own life. You see, it's not the secrets that cause the problems, but the assumptions that people make about them."
Nate: "I still don't know what you are talking about."
Serena: "I am going to go through all the emails and see if there's a positive way for me to use what's in them."
Nate: "So you're the new Gossip Girl. Like I've been saying this whole time."
Serena: "I guess so. I prefer to think of myself as the new Gwyneth Paltrow."
You and me both, honey.
Lily: "Well, I'm sorry that I spoiled our New Year's celebration by stalking innocent students."
Rufus: "That's what we already are always doing. That is literally my role on this show. Once we cured your pretend cancer it's just been this. Lurking, stalking, whining about things, sneaking around. I miss Charlie too. But I can't say I didn't hate the little bitch for distracting you from me and paying attention to me while I do banal, self-absorbed things."
Lily: "You're right. Whatever happens to the mentally ill girl we agreed to take into our home, that vanished suddenly and without warning, it's not really our business."
Rufus: "Let's sing more karaoke and be alone together and never leave this apartment and die here alone, singing karaoke."
Lily: "I feel like that is already happening."