Chuck: "Blair, thank God you came to my apartment like you do at the end of every episode and I always think you're going to say you're leaving Louis and then you never do. I'm sure this time I'll get what I want!"
Blair: "I just came by to say that I hope you don't turn evil. This insincere, paint-by-numbers storyline about your spiritual rehabilitation has turned out to be one of the paradoxically most touching of the season, and I'd hate to see that reversed in the same way it always is."
Chuck: "What I hear you saying is that Uncle Jack is probably coming back into the picture."
Blair: "Just stay Good, in the goofy childish White Hat way this show now defines that concept."
Chuck: "I mean like could you maybe give me a hint as to why you broke up with me and won't talk to me or look at me?"
Blair: "I am far too motherfucking crazy to do that. Adieu."
Serena & Dan: "Blair and Chuck's pain is like a funny joke to us. Let's eat candy!"
Everybody Else: "Actually, same deal. This is ridiculous."
Blair & Louis: "Our marriage is so not doomed. This is a great way to start a life together."
One last fact, which we already knew but Nate doesn't, is that Blair and Chuck were actually in the car ordered ... for NATE! Which is interesting, because of course now that you can assume all guest stars will revert to slavering lunatics desperate for blood within two episodes, why would Tripp be any different, and also maybe it keeps Max in play, but more than that, it twists the Serena thing in a cool way:
Because now Gossip Girl has helped Nate understand that his life was, and is, in danger, and she's the perfect person to help him with that, which means he has to side against Serena... But what is GG going to want in return? If it were me, I would make him write an editorial on how one of his closest friends from high school has lost her fucking mind and needs to be put in the hospital, but I don't see her going that way with it.
JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps Gossip Girl, The Good Wife, Pretty Little Liars and True Blood for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, on Twitter, and on Facebook. IRL work appears in BenBella's SmartPop series of anthologies, most recently A Friday Night Lights Companion and Fringe Science.