How so? How does that follow? Finally, Serena has just had it with them, and heads into the ladies' room to ask Blair what the hell is going on with her. If she'd noticed months ago, maybe they would have had this conversation earlier, but you know, there was this whole list she was supposed to write and it just kinda crept up on her and...
Meanwhile, Louis and Chuck decide that the sensible thing to do is to detour the office slideshow to include a slide proclaiming Dair 2011's MOST SECRET AFFAIR. It's a stroke of genius, or a genius of a stroke, but either way I think "Louis & Chuck Plan" just superseded "Serena Plan" as my very favorite kind of Plan. Nate's omnipresent and weirdly restive assistant surprises Louis as he's doing this amazing activity and he fully lies to her that he was doing "Monegasque business" on Nate's computer. I think I'm actually going to miss him, when he finally gets the scarlet fever or whatever he's going to get.
Serena: "I know this might be hard, but I'm going to stay on you until I get what I want. Blair, for the first time since you almost died months ago and lost your damn mind, I'm going to ask you to tell me what is going on."
Blair: "Okay, well, I thought Chuck was going to die because he was in a coma, so I just completely ignored the unimportant fact that I had miscarried -- since that has zero effect on a woman, physically speaking -- and dragged my ass to the hospital chapel to make a solemn vow that I would marry Louis and never sleep with Chuck again if he would just wake up."
Serena: "That is severely fucked up, but do go on. What happened next?"
Blair: "He woke up. Like right then. So I went to his hospital room and apologized for breaking up with him, and I've been going slowly insane ever since."
Serena: "Blair, that is fucking crazy. Even for you. Even for me, the woman who killed a man without even benefit of pants."
Blair: "Nevertheless. So like, Dan and I have been going on our secret dates to this brownstone that has a secret tunnel into a church where I managed to find one priest unscrupulous enough to support this total descent into bullshit. And the one time I questioned my stupid-ass vow, I was looking out the window and what did I see? Chuck almost getting bumped into by a taxi going about twelve miles an hour, which came to a full and complete stop fifteen yards away from him. It was a sign."